Inagural PJ O'Rourke Award

Why PJ O'Rourke? Well, in his book "Parliment of Whores", he gave us this description to an ordinary man or woman who tries to understand some of the crap congress pulls:
"What the fcuk?!?!? What the fcuking fcuk??!??"
This was my reaction whe reading an MSNBC story and came across this little nugget:

[ "A tiny provision tucked into a spending bill for Iraq requires that prescriptions for Medicaid patients be written on “tamper-resistant” pads. But most doctors do not use such pads." ]

The author writes the story as tho the biggest part of the story is all the people that aren't going to be able to get the prescriptions they need.
Hey, skippy, why don't you ask what the hell Medicaid patients are doing in the Iraqi spending bill!!
Unbelievable!!! The rest.

Reality:
WTF???!?
WTFingF?!?!

P Day

Reality:
Kick.
Ass.

So, then....

This global warming - good, then?


Reality:
Too funny.
I get a kick out of how scietists are all self-important. Proving sh..tuff one day only to disprove it later - or even this little tidbit. Science of the body is one thing. Science of the universe is still waaaaaaaaaay too far past concensus IMHO.
Unless you know better.

Indulge me...

I just finished watching "The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)", and I can't help myself.
This song is amazing. I think someone out there in the blogosphere recently posted this song.
Still, its not about the video.
Just listen.



Reality:
Its the only song I know that gives me goose bumps every time I hear it.
EVERY time.

Introducing...

still Unreal Simpson:

and, of course...

H/T The Early Spin

Reality:
Maybe it's not that close, but....I can't wait for this movie!
Anyone? Is it close?
(its the biggest, most roman looking nose I could find, OK?)

Oh, no he did-uhnt..

oh yes.... 2 of 3 bands soon to be off the "before I (or they) die" list...



Reality:
July 6, 2007 - 7 pm.
Its not quite 7-7-07, but I'll take it...
FINE....life just got a tad bit better. But just a tad.

Time to reevaluate...?

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with MS. At the time, not knowing what the heck it was, the only question I had for the doctor was “Is it contagious?” He assured me that it wasn’t. I shrugged it off and off I went. Ignorance was bliss.
Fast forward 8 years, fall victim to knowledge and über-expensive meds just to do….well, pretty much nothing and your perspective changes.
A few months back, after I had decided to succumb completely to lethargy and apathy brought on by the MS, it seemed like a good idea to move to Iceland …….or Ulaanbaatar and live in a cave. Even went so far as to price out the one-way tickets. After all, it was really all I could do, right?

After complete self-absorption, self-deprecation and self-pity I met someone who, for a while, got me out of that funk.
And what happens when the world you think you know comes crashing down on you for the umpteenth f*@#ing time?

Well, if you guessed that Iceland is just too damn cold and Ulaanbaatar is just a bit too far off the beaten path, you’d be partly right. You then wait a few months to tie up loose ends, then implement the plan, in general – I feel older and wiser, and the destinations have changed.
These are numbers for travel next March. It may seem a long way away, but you all (like 5 of you) know that as you age, time reeeeeeeeeeeeally flies.
All are one-way tickets...
Back to my home town: ~$1,800
Sicily , Godfather-style: ~$1,800
Just outside Florence with the crazy aunt: ~$1,300
Milan , with my cousin – (incredibly cool) son of said crazy aunt: ~$600 (….thru Ireland, 12 hr layover !!!, sweet!)
Lampedusa (I love this isle): I figure I can “boat” there if I go to my hometown…

Reality:
Yeah, I realize I finally became a (proud) citizen of the USA only to go back “home”, but its as far away as I can get.
I think we have a winner! (yes, I know they are pretty much the same....once I get there it'll be as easy as going from North Dakota to Miami, anyway..)
Besides, I think I can pick up on the language as well as satisfy my inner history geek at the same time.... Thoughts? Other destinations? Anyone? Bueller?

So, tell me again....

Why we shouldn't go after the employers because they don't know?

Reality:
So let me get this straight....your law office holds a seminar specifically on how to recruit illegal aliens, you "clearly" state your goal and yet -
When you are confronted by a news organization, you say that you made some "bad choices" in your words???
IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!

Bizzaro Pulp

Reality:
I friggin' love the Muppets....

Who am I?

Reality:
No hints...yet.

Slippery Slope

For all of you that believe that there is no slippery slope of the decreasing standards in our society, I humbly present you with this story:

I recently changed my home page from MSNBC to FoxNews. Every time I open Explorer, one of those annoying pop-ups appear and I quickly close it. This particular pop-up stopped me in my tracks before I could close it.
On the heels of Racine's "pimp my library card" there is this pop-up below:



Reality:
Are you kidding me?? This after last night I hear Fox refused to air a condom manufacturer commercial (which I liked, thought it was pretty funny and had no problems with).

Holy Crap!!!

I'm linking to a Canadian paper about global warming reality, eh!
Run for the hills, the end is nigh, yah!

Reality:
So basically, this science will be refuted as either "biased" or "looney", but I don't really think the sunspots and reality give a rat's pattotie.

Signs of summer...

On this, the first day of summer, I'd like to remind or inform the 2-3 readers of this blog some of the "signs of summer."

For all of you afraid of the water, its ok, just don't forget your sunscreen.

In Milwaukee, the summer wilding season started a tad bit early. Of course, the local "paper" (and by paper I mean toilet paper) didn't think it was that big a deal and and the scramble started with the apologists coming out of the woodwork here. Nationally, its a different story, but we don't like to talk about that.

The Milwaukee police say they "had a plan" for Juneteenth. Like they do for the upcoming Carnage Season - or some may call it "summer." It starts like this.

Reality:
All things considered, I'll take the beach and all it's perils then within 100 miles of Milwaukee.
Make that 10, 000 miles.

Go figure.

Take one part government + anything = Complete clusterf.....

You get the idea.

Reality:
God forbid they should just build the refineries so the prices drop.

Pfftt.....

Ok, so...my epitath is to read:

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

And my name means:

still unreal -- [adjective]: Having the texture of congealed cheese 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Reality:
Yeah, be..er..Masked, I'm done with your quizzes.

Wanna feel insignificant?

Go here.


Then tell me about how machines are the worst things ever.


Reality:
Find God, not Gore.
I'm just sayin'.

Road Trip!!!!!!!!!!!

How cool is this??!!??!!



Reality:
I gots to go!
I'd like to believe I wouldn't cringe like a 4 year old little girl who lost her parents in Times Square...but I can't make any promises.

Bias? What bias??!? (part 5, 000,000)

Olberman on a speaking error by an general:



Olberman on this one (ok, everyone has somehow forgotten this little nugget...why do you think that is?)



Anyone?
Lets expand that to ALL media....
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Reality:
12/10,000.....eh, understandable. He had waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more to worry about on the campaign trail than any stupid general. After all, have YOU dealt with The Hillary lately?
Granted Olbermann has been a waste of oxygen (God knows he's on of the main causes of global warming with all the hot air he spews) since he left sports - and even then he was marginally entertaining.
Now he's a caricature. A bitter, blind and stupid one at that.

Sigh.....

In case you were wondering..


H/T The Masked Blogger

Reality:
Figures.

Which is it?

Would you call this a gift for geek-dom world wide?
Would you make this akin to the Gods blessing us with ambrosia?
Icarus flying too close to the Sun?

Reality:
WOW.
Wonder if this is what Prometheous felt like?
WOW.

Civic Duty

Reality:
Yeah, it might not sit so well with the Mrs., but....this comes via my crush.

Goodbye Attention Whore

That sums it up, doesn't it?




Reality:
Hey, her words, not mine.
BTW....since all she does is yap, anyway, what the hell is she "retiring" from?
Blessing all of us peons with her deep, deep wisdom?
Shut the hell up. Oh, that's right...you finally are.

Some people...

Just like to overthink things and are too self-important to bother seeing the forest.



Reality:
But then again, it is easier to claim a disability when you suffer from Derangement.

Friday Feature

What I think is the funniest of the series:



Reality:
From the man that brought you hilarious action flicks like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and one of my personal favs, Snatch.
You may know him as Mr. Madonna: Guy Ritchie.

G'head...Waste Some Time

Guess the Movie Quote

This one I'm sure will be a piece of cake for all you Googlers out there.

[ "This contempt for money is just another trick of the rich to keep the poor without" ]

Reality:
Yeah, I know its a cop out.

You've GOT to be kidding me.

Good God.
I'm just sayin'....wasn't this one of the the plagues of Egypt?

Reality:
Did they really give it a horror movie name??
Did they say billions??!!
Holy shiitake mushrooms, Batman!!

No, there is no end.

RDW has yet another story revolving around the waste surrounding RUSD. To wit, the disgusting brazenness of Supernintendo Hicks to take advantage...FULL advantage of the re-imbursement policy.
A small sample:

[ "Greystone San Diego - $130.14 ($75 for the Mrs)
Commander's Palace - $160.65 ($81.00 for the Mrs)
The Waves - $133.56.
Figs Cucina - San Diego - $100.25
Ray's in the City -
Atlanta - $276.79
Mia Bella Bistro - Lake Geneva - $155.31
The Red Snapper- Atlanta - $196.45
Houlihan's - $62.44
Bentley's - $98.76" ]

What a ridiculous commentary on the privileges that elected official feel they have.
And then to whine and cry that its "for the children." Give it a rest.

Reality:
People that do not realize that this kind of garbage is happening in all aspects of government are kidding themselves. Why do you think one of the things accountants ask you to do to minimize your taxes is to start a "side" business so you can deduct certain costs that you normally wouldn't? The sick thing here is, he is on other people's dimes anyway!
I would also, further have to ask how much crap he also deducts on his taxes as "business expenses."

Idiots

Yeah, so basically the guy that changed.....wait, thats not right...

So basically, the guy that is friggin' responsible for that rock n' roll sound, Les Paul, finally gets a day in his name, where he grew up.
So what does the moron, idiot photo editor at the Urinal-sentinal do?
Publish the only, apparently, picture that was taken at the event....signing a damn drum!

UGH!!!

[Pioneering musician Paul gets welcome fit for a guitar
hero The Wizard of Waukesha has returned to his realm. It's been nearly 20 years since Les Paul performed in the city where he was born and raised and started out in show business as a flame-haired teenager calling himself Red Hot Red. But at last, he's back - and ready to plug in. Tonight, the man who was a pioneer in the
development of the electric guitar will perform at the Marriott Milwaukee West hotel. ]

What an embarrassment ...
Idiots....IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
The rest.

Reality:
Good thing you got out, Mr. Paul.
And thanks for everything.
Sorry for the morons running our paper.

Guess the Movie Quote

Any other day, this is movie quote is impossible.....

[ "I am the walrus. God is just the middle man." ]

Reality:
But today is no other day.
Its a beautiful day*.

*Bono's birthday, anyway..

No, Really....

I totally love her.



Reality:
Or maybe its a "crush" as Phel says...either way...

So its MORE than that??

How many different ways do you think will be found to f'c this up?
I think this says it all:

[ "Take your thoughts off that gas-guzzling SUV for a moment and
consider this: The average U.S. home causes twice as much greenhouse emissions as a single car." ]

Reality:
To paraphrase one of my favorite movies: Always, there's the money.

***BREAKING NEWS***

This just in.

[ "A backpack exploded in a parking garage attached to a Las Vegas hotel early Monday, killing a man who had picked it up and injuring another person, authorities said. The man had removed the backpack from atop his car when it exploded shortly after 4 a.m. on the second floor of a parking behind the Luxor hotel-casino, said Officer Bill Cassell, a police spokesman.
The second person was taken to an area hospital.
Aerial video showed no apparent damage to the parking structure, where entrances were blocked while police, firefighters and federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives agents investigated. No further information was immediately available." ]

More to follow.

Reality:
I've always said the if terrorists really wanted to be anti-west, they'd go after Vegas.
OOPS!
Methinks this might not end the same way as other stories might.

***UPDATE: Mea Culpa. Just anxious to see what would happen if...

Guess Everyone Has a Price.

Sure, this joke is older than dirt, but it cracks me up every time...


Reality:
Yeah, yeah...oink.
Oink. Oink.

Imagine That!

Le Francais decided to go with the "conservative" cadidate (i.e. the one that doesn't live in total la-la land) rather than the hyper-liberal one.

Crazy.

I love what Michael Binyon has to say about the direction the country was heading and Chirac's legacy.

Reality:

Good to know Phel's on board with this.

***BREAKING NEWS***

Just got off the phone with Mathew and he described an episode last nite at Paradise West on HWY 20 (the bowling alley, not Club Optix).
Lets just say it involved gangs, gunshots and general chaos.

They were dismissed by the police at 4 in the morning. Nothing from the vaunted Racine Journal Times, yet. It will be interesting how they tell the story now that I have an eyewitness account of events.

***Update: Gee, one story finally at 5.oo p.m. I guess no one thought to bring a camera.

Reality:
He describes it as: "The most intense experience of my f***ing life! F***ING CRAZY!!"
If you knew Mathew, you'd fully appreciate the gravity of those words.
Stay tuned.

Movies

Think about this...



Reality:
I'm still waiting for the "Superstretch and Microwoman" movie.

Declare, already!!

H/T First Class Pete.



Reality:
I'm kind of tired having to say "Giuliani" when someone asks me who I'll be voting for. Feels like I'm settleing.
The only thing that worries me (a great deal) is if he splits the vote.

But, apparently, I'm the only one that thinks that.

I say that because it was really hard work getting my lefty girlfried to say the same thing...now imagine how hard it's going to be to get her to vote for Fred instead!

Exposure.

I knew I could count on her!

Reality:
Reason #3,087.

All Hoff

Ok, maybe too much of the Hoff.

Reality:
I think the definitive line out of the whole thing is:
"Alec Balwin is somewhere so happy right now."
That may be, but he'll never be the Hoff.

Friday Feature

Psychosis, thy name is love.



Reality:
Let he (or she) that hath not sinned cast the first stone.
(although this was a bit looney - even by my nutsy standards)

Bird Feeder

I bought a bird feeder.
I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed.
Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore.

I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quite, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now lets see...our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be a automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: you child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

Reality:
H/T Morbid Matt

You Say O'Bama...

I say chameleon.

Can anyone tell me the point of this story?

Reality:
Methinks he is being racist by alluding to the fact that he is a "white" (so white, he's Irish, no less) so it will be easier to garnish the "white" votes.
Typical.

Michelle (my belle)

Reason #1,323,342:



Reality:
If you don't know what the reasons are for by now...
***UPDATE***
Even though the video was removed by the Nazi's at verizon, they did capitulate to sumpthin'.

Guess the Movie Quote

Ok, I searched long and hard to find a quote that can't be directly linked to the movie by that (welcome) spawn of Satan, Google.
This is pretty obscure, so unless you've seen the movie, you may not get it.

[ Character one, offering up a snack: "Pork rind?"
Character 2, nodding understandably: "Pork rind." ]

Reality:
Oh, yeah! Pretty obscure.
Clues available upon request.

Whoa!

OH.
MY.
GOD.

I wasn't even looking that forward to it, but apperently they're serious.
Like "all systems go" serious.

Reality:

Condolences

To the Charlie Sykes and his entire family.

Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

Outdated.

That's what I was always told when I claimed that "Global Warming" is also happening on Mars and further, that their polar ice caps are melting. Time and time again, I was told that my science was outdated and that there wasn't a "concensus" like the warming happening here on Earth.
So is this outdated information?
What about this?
Too outdated?

Reality:
Gore, still an idiot, has done more to f'c up the the priorities of this planet that anyone else.
Where do you think his priorities really lie?

One Question.

Who dat?

Reality:
A welcome site.

This Just In...

Gee, good to know that our predecessors knew more about livin' it up than just hand tools and the stupid wheel.

Reality:
Guess they knew how to get their "caveman" on.
Who said that man has no instinct?
;-P

IMHO

Even this movie, being the "cutest" of the series is roughly a gazillion times better than "Little Miss Sunshine" was hyped to be.





Reality:
Directed by Ang Lee. You know, the man that brought you Crouching Tiger, The Hulk and of course, Brokeback Mountain.

Guess the Quote

Ok, I think this is very easy, but I tried to find one as obscure as I could:

[ "Life is pain, Highness.
Anyone who says differently is selling something." ]

Reality:
Easily one of my favorite movies.

Whooooops!

We've been "outed!"

Gratuitous money line:

[ "Widespread instances of people and organisations buying worthless credits that do not yield any reductions in carbon emissions." ]

Reality:
Time to move on to the next alarmist scam, algore.

Roht, roh, Shaggy!

Now what?

Money line:

] "Switching from gasoline to ethanol _ touted as a green alternative at the pump – may create dirtier air, causing slightly more smog-related deaths, a new study says." [

Or this article.
Money line:

] "But accepting that does not mean accepting that any kind of alternative energy is by default a good thing." [

Reality:
Yeah...I'm gonna go ahead and guess that this won't get too much widespread airplay from the M.S.M. which is too busy feeling good about doing everything in their power to bring down big oil. This is what I was talking about earlier when I said that algore is bad because he takes us away from truly focusing on the problem and analyzing it rather than jump on the first - or anything - alternative form of energy that is different than Big Oil.

Huh??!?

This is just a bit of...well, not doublespeak - per se - but certainly..well, odd.

On the one hand, you get this:

|| "A rise of just 16 feet would affect 669 million people and 2 million square
miles of land would be lost." ||

Later...

|| "Sea levels are currently rising about 0.04 to 0.08 inches each year, making it unlikely such a scenario would suddenly occur across the globe, Usery said."||

So I'm a tad bit confused.
According to some, rising ocean levels will devestated those on coasts within 100 years. This article clearly contradicts that stating that natural disasters would be the cause - seeing as oceans are rising at a level of "0.04 to 0.08 inches each year"...which means without natural disasters, it would take approximately 200 years.

Reality:
Get your stories straight, Global Warming alarmists.
It shouldn't be too difficult - what with the concencus and all.

Victor/Victoria

Victor:

Victoria:

Reality:

Click on the Shadow to hear father of the year address his 12 year old daughter.

Maybe I should have gone with the Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde, huh?

And Now...

...another sign of the impending apocalypse.
wow.

||"If the girl chooses to become pregnant using her mother’s eggs, she will be giving birth to her biological half-sibling.||"

Holy crap.
WOW!

Reality:
What.
The.
F**K!??!
Wasn't this a joke about rednecks at one time?

Shout Out.

This shout out goes to gopFolk.
He has futally tried to stump me (I really don't think he thinks we are in competition, but...that's never really stopped me..) on countries around the world.
Well, I think between my trivia psychosis and the world map hanging less than a foot away from me with pushpins all over it to signify all the places I want to visit...I don't see it happening.
However.
Recently, in haste to respond, I was in error in thinking he meant Domenican Republic, when clearly it was Papua New Ginea. (ppffftt..)
So I decided to start my own game. The first will be fairly easy...seeing as I knew of this quote, for years and I only saw the movie for the first time late last year.

| "Leave the gun. Take the cannolis."

Hint: My friends were incredulous and flabbergasted that it took me as long as it did to finally see the movie.

Reality:
I'd give it a 2 out of 10.
Oh, and for the record: my previous quote "fu, pay me" was from Goodfellas.
Kudos to RDW for getting it almost immediately.

You say tohmahtoe, I say BS

The ending line of this is something that the JFK conspiracy buffs could also take note of.



Reality:
Good thing they are on pay cable so they can speak their minds, eh?

Yeah, you know what?

I completely agree with Peter.

Reality:
I'm really sick of BS, promises not kept...on and on.
Sick.

You Couldn't Make This Up

So I was watching BBCAmerica this morning (early) just see what the rest of the world was saying about the sad events on the VT campus.
Not quite sure which news program was on, but the commentator was talking about the massacre with a “gun/psychology expert.” (what??) They were talking about the guns used during the incident, and then the commentator asked why this happens more prevalently in the US.
I thought “here comes the Bush-bashing.”
But to my surprise, the “analyst” took a different route.
He claimed that we (as Americans) still think that we live in the wild west. That we (again, as Americans) are just like that. Period.
The commentator pressed on asking maybe we (again, as Americans) are just under way too much stress as a nation. The “analyst” refuted that and stuck to his guns, as it were. Further, he claimed, that in speaking specifically with prosecutors in Ft. Worth, they agreed with him that having guns in the home for protection only leads to the guns being more likely to kill the homeowner.
Unbelievable.
They say “analyst”, I say biased A-hole.
WTF??!

Reality:
Some stuffed shirt who doesn’t know a damn thing about what happened at VT is spouting on about gun control in MY country from HIS country. Nothing was mentioned (‘cause he didn’t know) about the nationality or the citizenship status of the gunman.
Nothing else was even blamed.
Not jealousy.
Not video games.
Not breaking existing laws.
Nothing.
Sorry, even with this tragic event, is there any wonder why I’m glad and proud to be an American citizen?

In a word?

NO.

Wow, the MSM reeeeeally wants to coronate Hillary.
They (the MSM) has been busy in the last several weeks trying to throw as much crap at this guy to see if any of it sticks. From the Kerik "fiasco" to this, it goes on and on and on...
Can you say scared?
I knew you could.

Reality:
What makes the highlight reel: He dressed in drag.
What doesn't make the reel: In a roast next to a legend who made the role famous.
What makes the highlight reel: He wore high heels and fishnets
What doesn't make the reel: With the Rockettes.
Ridiculous.

Think you got game?

WHAT: Texas Hold 'em Fundraiser to benefit the local chapter of C.A.S.A.

WHERE: Kenosha, WI Brat Stop on Hwy 50 and I-94

WHEN: Register before 12 noon. Play begins promptly at noon.

DETAILS: One time $75 donation. 70% of the contributions will be paid back to the player prize pool. This means the for a 200-player turnout, the first place payout will reach over $3,000!!

Before you scoff, there were 197 players at the last Brat Stop Hold 'em benefit.

See the Caardvark website for more details.

There will also be ongoing raffles, food and entertainment!

Reality:

Show up for a good time, good cause.....and hey, if you end up making money, everyone wins!

What a concesus will bring you.

Not much.

Reality:
Ugh....just another thing Ma & Pa were right about.
"Eat your carrots. Eat an orange...."
Dammit!
Yes, Mom...

Meanwhile, back in the real world...

Things are.....nevermind.
Damn, you, Global Warming!
Damn you!

***UPDATE***
MIT? What do they know?
Nothing but a bunch of morons who could only get into a tech school.

H/T The Game

Reality:
Just curious as to how many of these stories it will take...

Happy Easter

Reality:

He has risen.

Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo.

I've been told:
"Winners never cheat and cheaters never win"
Or something like that.
Proof below...




Reality:
A friend of mine (he doesn't like to admit it out loud) and I saw this a couple of years back and laughed ourselves unconscious .
While the actual act and her reaction slays me, the look on the newscasters "back at the studio" is, well....priceless.
Reason #15,379,308 I'm pretty sure I'm headed to hell.

OH MY GOD!!!

Are you serious??
How and when can I vote for this guy?!!??




Reality:
While this 10 minute diatribe may be a bit long for the drive-by media, I urge all of you to hear what he has to say.
H/T Da Blogfather

This looks familiar..

"We came in friendship, hope, and determined that the road to Damascus is a road to peace"

KINDA LIKE....

"My good friends, for the second time in our history, a British Prime Minister has returned from Germany bringing peace with honour. I believe it is peace for our time."

Reality:

Maybe it didn't work for ol' Neville because he was really just holding the 10th UN resolution against Hitler and Germany.

Is it me??

Would somebody please help me out here?
See, I’m from Eye-taly and I guess I just don’t get your guy’s (and mine) system all too well – I’ve only been here a few years and all (only 30yrs). Please forgive me.
These here “referenda” that seem to be springing up all over the state….these are taxes over and above the regular school-related property taxes, right? (or not, this is where I need the help).

If it is, what the hell??!!?
Seems pretty simple to me.
Your school boards are doing nothing short of their best imitation of Pontius Pilate (figured it was an appropriate allegory considering the season, and all…).
You know – “don’t look at us, YOU all didn’t vote for the money we needed. WE asked for it, after all.”
What happened to “You elected us to look over the budget, and we effed it up. So give us more, ‘cause this job is pretty easy, we don’t even need to do anything….so we’d like to keep this job”

Reality:
Seriously, folks, when are we going to stand up and say “What the f***?!!?” – and not in the Tom Cruise, Risky Business way, either!
Mean it!
YOU are a source of an endless revenue stream for all the people we elect as our representatives. Think yourself as the trough all our "legislators" are feeding off of.

I mean....at least we can call a spade a spade where I come from. ;-)

Thug Life.

Anyone care to defend this horse's ass?

Reality:
If any of the people complain about crime and crappiness in his district EVER again, I say we send out with the MMSD dumping.
Unbelievable.

One Word Today:

Reality:

'Nuff said.

What? WHAT?!

WHAT?????!!!!!?

Now we are working on changing history so as not to offend anyone.....?
Congratulations, PC crowd!
You are well on your way to raise an entire generation of spineless, clueless morons.
Wow.

Reality:
Good God.
What the hell is the matter with these people???
After looking back on my own schooling, I wish someone would never have told me about communists,unions and socialists growing up. Scared the crap out of me.

I also could have done without knowing how Il Duce killed his own people, too. Made school very difficult for me. But then again, as I learned in my history classes...time since the birth of Christ has only been measured by the peace between wars.

Come to think of it, it was like that before his birth, too.

And I thought all hope was lost...

I think now we're finally turning the corner as a civilization.

Reality:
I'm sure they all feel reeeeeal good about it now.
Phew...now we can go back to normal.

Since I dont have the patience...

Reality:
Wanna file a complaint?
Bite me.
H/T to Owen at B & S.

Points to Ponder

Reality:

One of the coolest little videos I've seen.

YAY!!

I'm a Ferrari 360 Modena!

You've got it all. Power, passion, precision, and style. You're sensuous, exotic, and temperamental. Sure, you're expensive and high-maintenance, but you're worth it.

"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Reality:
Friggin' nice!
Wait...is this just because I'm Italian??

The Reeeeally Big Show

Now appearing live(!) for one day only, in front of your congress... Algore, Inc. dba Global Warming!
He warns and warns us to be aware of our environment, blah, blah, blah....so why doesn't he want to take the oath like he wants all of us to?
What an algore. The senator just nails him.

"First, you have claimed that there is a “strong, new emerging consensus” linking global warming to an increase in hurricane intensity and duration. Yet last year, the World Meteorological Organization very clearly rejected this assertion, and other scientists agree.
Secondly, you said that East Antarctica might melt and this could raise sea levels by 20 feet, so we’re all going to die. However, according to many scientists, Antarctica is gaining ice mass, not losing it. In a 2005 study published in Science a team of researchers led by Dr. Curt Davis found an overall gain in ice mass in Antarctica over a ten year period.
And the public is catching on. Even the New York Times last week published an article about scientists, many of them your supporters, who say you have overstated your case on global warming — in fact, they warn that you may be hurting the so-called cause with your "alarmism."
Given that, it is no wonder you have turned down the chance to debate the President of the Czech Republic, Vaclav Klaus. And now I understand a debate challenge has been issued by Lord Monckton of Benchley.
Now there is a reason for this.
When the debate is balanced, skeptics win, alarmists lose. In New York last week, for instance, a major debate took place to examine whether global warming is a crisis. Prior to the debate, the hand-wringers, the alarmists, in the audience outnumbered those who didn’t think it was a crisis 2 to 1. After the debate, the alarmists were outnumbered – a major turnaround in beliefs in a single night."

The rest.

Reality:
I mean read the damn oath! What kind of tool preaching the global warming religion - and making a movie telling you how to live - refuses to take the oath on a national stage, with everyone watching his lead?
Anyone? Bueller?
The hypocritical algore kind, that's who.

Nerve

Amazing.
I get tired of the "we can do no wrong" and "do as we say not as we do" BS spewed by our state government. We are quickly becoming laughing stock across the country.
When I commented to my friends (and their acquaintances) in Florida recently that Wisconsin does not require any ID to vote, all their jaws dropped. Left and right.
Amazing.

Reality:
H/T Peter

Now what?

So ...think this will ever become a consensus or be dismissed as "junk science?"

Reality:
This is just hilarious.
How long does this go on before the consensus BS is finally laid to rest for good so a real debate can be had and scientists aren't getting a scarlet letter for disagreeing that Algore?

Nasty!

My, how the mighty have fallen:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Reality:

Ok, I'm a guy...is "rehab" another word for "collagen lip implant retreat" or what? Bleeech!!...

God Bless America.

Home of the free, brave and the lawsuit.
Always follow the money.

Reality:
IMHO these jackasses staged the whole thing and now they also want to shake down the people they scared so as to not look like they are only going after the big, bad airline.

Tree huggers take note

Good thing they were in on the Kyoto accords, eh?
Oh, wait...

Reality:
Think the MSM that jumped down the thoats of the US will even bother to report this?
I'm thinking it will evade Matt Lower, Katie and whoever is at ABC these days, et. al.

Hidden costs noone likes to talk about.

You know, my family and friends have been telling me for quite a while that I should apply for disability benefits through the SS. My answer was always, "No way. I'd be a hippocrite if I did that. That is NOT what SS is there for!"
Well, after 7+ years of fighting the MS, I finally had enough of fighting it and I applied and was immidiately granted the benefits.
When I went to the local office, I was a tad bit miffed that all the benefit information was extensively written in Spanish as well as English. I sighed heavily and wondered how much money was wasted nationally in all the offices across the country with all the copies of each. Needles to say, this was just a bit depressing to me.
Then toaday, I was on the government SS website when I came across this little bit of info.
What can I say, but...wow.
Not just Spanish, but an abundance of other languages - in case you find English just too damn difficult or inconvenient to learn. What a joke.
Your tax dollars hard(ly) at work.
Even if its not tax dollars, how much does it cost private business to be "pc" where there are explanations of everything in 1-8 languages? No cost? Really? Who do you think pays for it?

Reality:
Its easier to spend money than get people to learn the language of the land, I guess.
Makes me sick...er.

The professionals have spoken.

Well here's a fine "how-do-you-do."

Reality:
This must have been one hell of a concesus if they are taking it "off the table" after all these years, huh?

Gore's consensus.

Here is the text of Newsweek’s 1975 story on the trend toward global cooling. It may look foolish today, but in fact world temperatures had been falling since about 1940. It was around 1979 that they reversed direction and resumed the general rise that had begun in the 1880s, bringing us today back to around 1940 levels.
I invite you to embrace the phase:
"The evidence in support of these predictions has now begun to accumulate so massively that meteorologists are hard-pressed to keep up with it."

Reality:
Politics? What politics?
Money? What money?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Cooling World
Newsweek, April 28, 1975


There are ominous signs that the Earth’s weather patterns have begun to change dramatically and that these changes may portend a drastic decline in food production – with serious political implications for just about every nation on Earth. The drop in food output could begin quite soon, perhaps only 10 years from now. The regions destined to feel its impact are the great wheat-producing lands of Canada and the U.S.S.R. in the North, along with a number of marginally self-sufficient tropical areas – parts of India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Indochina and Indonesia – where the growing season is dependent upon the rains brought by the monsoon.

The evidence in support of these predictions has now begun to accumulate so massively that meteorologists are hard-pressed to keep up with it. In England, farmers have seen their growing season decline by about two weeks since 1950, with a resultant overall loss in grain production estimated at up to 100,000 tons annually. During the same time, the average temperature around the equator has risen by a fraction of a degree – a fraction that in some areas can mean drought and desolation. Last April, in the most devastating outbreak of tornadoes ever recorded, 148 twisters killed more than 300 people and caused half a billion dollars’ worth of damage in 13 U.S. states.

To scientists, these seemingly disparate incidents represent the advance signs of fundamental changes in the world’s weather. The central fact is that after three quarters of a century of extraordinarily mild conditions, the earth’s climate seems to be cooling down. Meteorologists disagree about the cause and extent of the cooling trend, as well as over its specific impact on local weather conditions. But they are almost unanimous in the view that the trend will reduce agricultural productivity for the rest of the century. If the climatic change is as profound as some of the pessimists fear, the resulting famines could be catastrophic. “A major climatic change would force economic and social adjustments on a worldwide scale,” warns a recent report by the National Academy of Sciences, “because the global patterns of food production and population that have evolved are implicitly dependent on the climate of the present century.”

A survey completed last year by Dr. Murray Mitchell of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reveals a drop of half a degree in average ground temperatures in the Northern Hemisphere between 1945 and 1968. According to George Kukla of Columbia University, satellite photos indicated a sudden, large increase in Northern Hemisphere snow cover in the winter of 1971-72. And a study released last month by two NOAA scientists notes that the amount of sunshine reaching the ground in the continental U.S. diminished by 1.3% between 1964 and 1972.

To the layman, the relatively small changes in temperature and sunshine can be highly misleading. Reid Bryson of the University of Wisconsin points out that the Earth’s average temperature during the great Ice Ages was only about seven degrees lower than during its warmest eras – and that the present decline has taken the planet about a sixth of the way toward the Ice Age average. Others regard the cooling as a reversion to the “little ice age” conditions that brought bitter winters to much of Europe and northern America between 1600 and 1900 – years when the Thames used to freeze so solidly that Londoners roasted oxen on the ice and when iceboats sailed the Hudson River almost as far south as New York City.

Just what causes the onset of major and minor ice ages remains a mystery. “Our knowledge of the mechanisms of climatic change is at least as fragmentary as our data,” concedes the National Academy of Sciences report. “Not only are the basic scientific questions largely unanswered, but in many cases we do not yet know enough to pose the key questions.”

Meteorologists think that they can forecast the short-term results of the return to the norm of the last century. They begin by noting the slight drop in overall temperature that produces large numbers of pressure centers in the upper atmosphere. These break up the smooth flow of westerly winds over temperate areas. The stagnant air produced in this way causes an increase in extremes of local weather such as droughts, floods, extended dry spells, long freezes, delayed monsoons and even local temperature increases – all of which have a direct impact on food supplies.

“The world’s food-producing system,” warns Dr. James D. McQuigg of NOAA’s Center for Climatic and Environmental Assessment, “is much more sensitive to the weather variable than it was even five years ago.” Furthermore, the growth of world population and creation of new national boundaries make it impossible for starving peoples to migrate from their devastated fields, as they did during past famines.

Climatologists are pessimistic that political leaders will take any positive action to compensate for the climatic change, or even to allay its effects. They concede that some of the more spectacular solutions proposed, such as melting the Arctic ice cap by covering it with black soot or diverting arctic rivers, might create problems far greater than those they solve. But the scientists see few signs that government leaders anywhere are even prepared to take the simple measures of stockpiling food or of introducing the variables of climatic uncertainty into economic projections of future food supplies. The longer the planners delay, the more difficult will they find it to cope with climatic change once the results become grim reality.

NEW GAME! Time to play: "Al vs....."

Reality would just destroy Al, so we'll go easy on him to start and give him this chump.
He's just a nobody with alot less climatological experience than Alfonse.

Reality:
Take one part mony-grubber, one part scare-monger and one part "I feel yohre pain" wanna-be, and you get one complete Algore.

*YAWN*

Oh, goodie...I guess now the book is closed on the story.

Reality:
Whoop-de-freakin' do.
So what?
Will the soldiers come back? Will money be paid to the families?
This reeks of feel-good.

Eyes Wide Shut

Well, I guess the media, et.al. have taken a break from the collective fellatio they have bestowed Al Gore. Even the most conservative of publications has had enough.
Go figure: the unquestionable consensus is starting to be nothing but a house of cards built on "feel-good" policies and exaggerated predictions that do nothing but take our eyes off the real issue. Great job, Al.
You suck.

Reality:
Gore has done nothing but waste everyone's time. The issue - for America - is to find alternative energy sources. Not on what the Kyoto accords or what the world thinks we need to do based on a "global" consensus. The world will move towards conservation and a greater awareness of our environment - regardless. With or without Al's help. Gore, as a complete hypocrite, wants us to decrease our "carbon footprint." He claims he does that by buying offsets...from a company he helped found. These "offsets" of his are nothing but investments into a company that pushes the green, fear-mongering machine that he helped create. The more fear he can put into you folks, the more money he makes.
What a joke.
Keep pushing, extreme left. Even the "regular" left has just about had it with you. When the pendulum swings back and people realize that it was founded mostly on fear-mongering rather than science and pragmatic solutions, you'll drown in your red tide.

This kinda stuff is..

...what made me decide to use this name. Have you heard the latest?
NOW the problem is going to through the nannies of this world into a conniption fit (or at least a tizzy) because cars are just too darn safe!! Damn those car guys!

Reality:
While I may agree that some people live entirely too long due to safer cars, can we try or at least appear to try to spend research money on research other than this crap?

So my friend says....

"Hey, still_unreal, why don't you come spend week down here(His family is in Fla.) with us?"
So I say, "Hey, I can't really afford it."
He says, "No worries, I'll pay for the flight and you can stay at my house."


His back yard:

Reality:

Holy crap, what a guy. Pfft.....I'm getting on a plane at noon today. See you all in a week. :-D

Proof of martian life!

Someone's gotta be doing it, right Al?
Gore is a nitwit.

Reality:
See above.

Two words: Please Sink

And stay sunk, James.

Reality:
Eh, he's just a priest. What does he know? They're all liars.
Right?