18 febbraio 2009

Late to the party.

I’m pretty sure I’m the first, last or only person to have this moment of clarity, but it happened. (Late to make my point, too, I think - so please bare with me…)

Anyone that knows me at all knows that I watch any TLC, NatGeo or Disc. Channel shows that deal with astrophysics, astronomy or even parallel universes.
Don’t get me wrong, some of those topics and the math behind the theories can make me a little light-headed, but I’m a complete geek and I love ‘em. I guess that’s probably the result of loving the science, but not being able to do the actual math (string theory…wtf?!?).

Last nite, I was watching one of said shows that I had DVR’d (oh, yeah..the Mrs. loves that…) about the largest explosions in the known universe. They worked their way up in scale, and then declared that The Big Bang – the explosion that created the universe – was the unquestionable winner. After all, it contained everything, and it created everything…including time; since there was only void prior. They went on to say that until the mid-90’s, scientists postulated that the expansion of the universe would stop and then it would all end in The Big Crunch – when the universe contracted back on itself and the cycle is repeated.
In the 90’s they discovered that the universe was not only NOT contracting, but it was expanding at a record pace (record?!? compared to what??!?!).
So some of these giants of science decide to re-explain it away by coming up with a new theory to explain the expansion: dark energy. I won’t bore those of you still here, but it basically said: “forget what we though about the affects of gravity, just believe us that this is the reason.”

Funny theory, the big bang…one astronomer said that it was a meaningless question to ask what was there before or around the big bang “epicenter” prior to the explosion.

Is that because they can’t explain it?
That’s when I realized that the scientist and astronomers, et al are simply too afraid to confront the truth: that there was already a book that explained the “big bang” long before any of them was even born.
The name escapes me right now, but I’m sure someone will know it when I tell you about the line I do remember:

[ Let there be light. ]

Isn't it funny how "regular" people are willing to embrace a duality rather than just knock down those eggheads that would not be willing to reciprocate?

16 febbraio 2009

I USED to rule the world...

...but I'm actually a stupid hypocrite.

The Germans (my overlords) call this "schadenfreude."
I kinda wanted an SUV to drive over his foot as soon as he decided to plug Barack Obama after one of their songs on SNL.
Go eat some chips, you non-able-to-vote-in-my-elections dink.

10 febbraio 2009


Just so we don't all get too obsessed with the vastness of the "spendulous" package, I present some perspective.

None of those stars are the biggest known to man.
THIS is.