WNBA v. Women

In case you missed it, this was the Australian Open tennis final:

VS.

Why would you miss that??!??

Reality:
Really, does the WNBA seriously wonder why their ogres don't get viewers?
Really?
(oh, by the way, Maria won...)

Oh no he di-uhnt!

The soon-to-be-Mrs. still Unreal says I'm being too serious around here (truth be told, I don't even think she's one of the 5 or so people that read this blog.....but I digress)
Even tho I have the highest regard for police officers, I give you an oldie, but a goodie:

A cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?" says the officer.
"Gee, officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"

Parum-pum!

Reality:
Oh...I wish I did...

Please talk me off the ledge.

So Bubba has become the "attack dog" for the Hillabeast, eh?

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that she might actually pick him as a VP running mate?
Anything for a win, after all.

***SCARY THOUGHT UPDATE: (I know its only wiki but...)
"It is unclear whether someone who has been twice elected to the presidency can subsequently be elected Vice President. The Twenty-second Amendment to the United States Constitution states that a person may not be elected to the presidency more than twice, but it does not rule out such a person subsequently becoming president by other means (for example through the line of succession). Additionally, the Twelfth Amendment to the United States Constitution states that no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States. As no two-term president has subsequently sought the Vice-presidency, the question has never arisen."


Reality:
And if you don't think he would do it, ask yourself if its tempting to him to get "Lewinskied" in his wife's office.
Then buy a clue.

Oh, Come ON!!

Pete's got it.
Are you friggin' kidding me? Has the Republican party just turned into "how moderate you can be?" Give me a flippin' break.
I get Iowans (who are basically clueless and are flattered by the insane amount of media attention they get every 4 years) and New Hampsher..ers (see previous parenthetic note) are willing to be led along by BS....but as this thing goes on, how the hell can you even thing these 2 are a good choice in any way shape or form???????


Reality:
It is becoming apparent that "lemmingism" is not party deep.

It was the best of times...

...it was the worst of times.
For them, anyway.
Technology comes to the rocky little hills and dirt roads of home...


Reality:
While I am not Siciliano, home was less than 75 miles away from its shores.

Borg or Obama?

I'm getting pretty sick and tired of the Barack backers telling me it "time for a change" and we need someone who will "unite this country."
Is that right?

I'm pretty sure I'm hard right on most things, center of the road on some things and pretty left on even less things.
Obama is the exact opposite (although I highly doubt he's hard right on anything).
Has he EVER given anyone the indication that he is to the right of center on anything?
Or am I supposed to be so swooned by his beauty and verbal skills that I will just agree with him and thus uniting with his beliefs?


Reality:
Assimilation is not uniting.

Blame Bush.

Don't you dare blame the Goreacle for this.
All the smog released by the Bush war machine must somehow be resposible.
The Goracle only speaks truth and of impending global doom.
He's always right.

Reality:
Aaaaaaaaaaaany day now....

Stunning.

That the media, certain people and elites are buying into this crap and continuing to blindly formulate policy based on faulty data.
Whats the reasoning there? Better to do look like you're doing something than nothing?
Go hug a tree, it would do more good.

H/T Unkie Fred

Reality:
Get over yourselves you loud, pompous, self-absorbed, holier-than-thou a-holes.

PJ O'rourke Award

Granted, this is an incredibly scary story.
Are they glad their children are safe and alive...apparently yes.
So now you sue. I can see suing the hospital - they botched the perscription. But the drug company for after years on no problems?!?!??

WTFF!!!

If a doctor gives you a perscription and the pharmacist gives you the wrong bottle, who do you sue?
Why the Bic, of course!


Reality:
Sorta reminds me of what Chris Tucker said in Rush Hour......"follow the rich white man."

Say what, now?

I regularly get emails from the Fred Thompson campain. Usually, I just delete it with out reading it (sorry Sean). For some reason, however, I read todays (It helped that the subject line was "All-in"....like a junkie like me could pass that up).
In it, it talked about all the events Fred's got lined up in South Carolina, bus stops, yadda yadda yadda.........and then this line: "Fred is energized and focused."

Energized?!?

WTF does that mean to Fred, anyway?

Don't get me wrong, he is my first choice for president...but "energized" is not a word I'd use to describe him. There is an oldish quote that says:

"In the absence of genuine leadership, they'll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert to a mirage and when they discover there is no water, they will drink the sand."

Listen up, Fred! Lead.
Don't worry about what others are doing. Once you do that, you are admitting second place. If that's what you want, then you are doing a grand job. You are killing your "buzz" and have been for several months now. You HAVE a strong national following - use it.


Reality:
I think I just might have ticked off Sean even more.
Just trying to help and stay energized.

Calling anyone that actually reads this blog

Other than the obvious "Blogspot/Blogger sucks", why does everything on my blog underline itself sometimes??


UPDATE: See, now its not doing it for this post.

Lets Play...

Nagin says!!
On hurricane Kat....er...Gustav:

[ "If you decide to stay you are on your own" ]

Reality:
As opposed to when you make any other stupid, informed decision then crash and burn.
In that case, the gubbernment will bale you out.
Can anyone say "housing bailout?"

Enough already!

You know, the media IS going to set up a vote for the next American (idol)President. This election is turning into nothing but a damn popularity contest - not whether the person can lead this country through the minefield of the upcoming world politics and national events.
While he isn't my first choice, Romney won in Wyoming...a state that has ONE less electoral votes than the vaunted and holy New Hampshire.
New Hampshire is closer to the home offices in NYC, however, so its easier to slobber over. According to THIS and many other polls and people I've spoken to across the country, Thompson is ahead by far. The media (and freakin' Iowans) put him at 3rd, tops. I'm sick of this state-by-state crap. No more of this "you didn't make it SuperTuesday" BS.
Its time for a national primary.

Reality:
...and a college football playoff system.

REAL Debate Wisconsin

In this time of cauci(?), primaries and long-winded lies....er...I mean...debates, I'd like to discuss a topic which is as old as the ages but has gone through a few permutations.
The most well-known and important of which is Ginger v. Mary Ann.

Last nite, a decidedly more contemporary version arose. It was argued vehemently by both sides to a draw. The choices?
Jessica Simpson v. Carrie Underwood.

The poll is up.
Please be kind enough to vote.


Reality:
I won't say which side I was on just yet, but you shouldn't read into anything just because I think Carrie is a Goddess that walks the Earth.

So sayith the Goreacle

How long before this guy is publicly flogged?


Reality:
See, unlike Global Warming lemmings, this guy will be raked over the coals by the media and other elites if the temperature doesn't dip at least 15 degrees a year.
According to some Lemmings, Florida will be gone by the middle of the century. Who in the media will even remember that our entire existance was changed because of it?
Mucking forons.

Two Words:

Global Warming.

Wasn't this the same kind of crap that we had going on in the 80's and 90's?
But now it's given a cause-celeb name by the Goreacle?


Reality:
Two more words: My ass.
Additional two for the Goreacle: stfu.
Sorry, I guess that's technically 4 words...my bad, consensus of my cat and dog said it was only 2 words.

Another year that was....

not.
Nostredamus would be ashamed. Chicken little would be proud.
Tell me, is it time for these things to come true yet or not?
Is Mad Cow about to overtake our cattle yet?
Has Chronic Wasting Desease really destroyed a huge percent of the deer population in Wisconsin?
Wow, we made it through another Turkey day without having to worry about the Avian Bird Flu.
Also, I guess sharks are no longer patrolling our shores for snacks like they were on slow news days.

Although...people tell me I still need to worry about all those killer hurricanes that have been cropping up all over the place.

The other questions I have involve more detailed explainations....
So..........is anyone else wondering how the hell that psycho up nort der shot himself in the head 3 times. 3 times!
Where is Elian?
Is Castro really Rasputin reincarnate?


Reality:
So the only thing we kinda know is that we can now swim in the oceans without having to worry about sharks.
Just other things.

Happy New Year, everyone.

New Math

Female leader + Democratic leader =

Reality:
Just curious where the feminists and all the world leaders that scream out that the US is the brutal one are on this.
Seems to me we wont hear anything from the "moderates" either.

Talk about coglioni!

I kinda thought this was a joke at first.
Of course it wasn't.


Reality:
In a similar development, the pesky Romans have decided to copyright the Coliseum and thus putting all open-air stadiums on notice for royalties due.
Furthermore, in true mafioso style, all royalties are retroactive to building's opening.

Huh. You dont say!

Who couldn't figure this out?


Reality:
Is it just me that said "No shit, Sherlock" when I first read this or are there others of you out there?

Consistency.

This sums it up.
Normally, I would say "what's good for the goose" but...what newspaper doesn't slant left?
If it exists, then maybe they should say something like...
"vote anti-democrat, they are mostly defeatists and nannies anyway."
What a self-important, elitist joke.


Reality:
Gotta love the left, tho.
So basically, the party of tolerance and inclusion wants you to dislike someone for who they are, not necessarily like anyone for who they are.
Classic.

R.I.P.

Too sad for words...

Why?

Why talk?
About what? Its been made clear that compromise=betrayal.
Last time, peaceniks: KUMBAYA DOESN'T FUCKING WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE.


Reality:
OK, maybe I was being a bit harsh.
We should talk about something we ALL care about....like "global warming."
I'm sure Zawahiri spends many nites tossing and turning worrying about that, too.

Hey!

This can't be right!?


Reality:
I think its the thousands of Yugo's and Trabants on the road in Europe.

After a long week....

Of seriously heavy news...laugh a little.

Reality:
I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite.

I do.

I doubt those words really meant anything 5 minutes after the ceremony.
WOW.


Reality:
I wonder if Dane Cook thought about this one?

Just one more...

What a way to go, huh?

Reality:
Vegan my ass...Bring on the ribeye!!!

Ok, I get it.

There's an "A", "I" and an "R" in Algeria, and it kinda sounds like "America" so lets bomb the hell out of them.
Thats it, right?


Reality:
Maybe it was because there's an "E" in Mohammed, too.
Yeah, talking with mongrels always works.......do we know what the hell it is that they want, exactly?
Oh, that's right: death to infidels.

Just Curious

Do you think that "A date that will live in infamy" was only until we lived in a soundbite world like today?
Even on news channels I have yet to hear about it.

Reality:
History doesn't repeat itself, stupid people repeat history.
Owen has it.

Wheat/Rye.

Owen has info about Triticale.


Reality:
We extend our prayers to Triticale and his family.
Anybody out there want to complain about their cold now?

Ladies and Gentlemen...

I give to you the religion of peace.
Now go forth and coexist with these peaceful, loving majority.
Douchebags.


Reality:
Back when I first learned about about stratas and the region we live in, I was incredulous that we lived in a "forest" area. 'No way', I said 'we live in a city, not a forest.' (I was young, ok?)
It wasn't until I was driving through town that I had the proverbial moment of clarity. Once I looked past the houses and building, I realized that there were trees everywhere.
Why this look into my really effed up past? Simple.
Look past the BS talking points of the presidential candidates and think about the world as a whole. The world may suffer from famine, unfairnes and desease. This country may have life-or-death disagreements such as how to provide healthcare to everyone, taxes, gays in the military and banning guns. But we ALL suffer from the growing problem that is Sharia law and bs 'laws' enacted by this religion. And, please, spare me the crap about how these people are just extremists who exploit a religion. Screw you. How many does it take to not make it just 'some' people? If its the republican party in this country, its just one. What does 'thousands' make? A few? Most? Oh, and lets not forget about how the minority -by their definition - is trying to ban a muslim for saying, basically, "Hey, maybe we shouldn't be bombing Israel."
Where is WHO, Amnesty International, the feminist movement and any other group calling for 'fairness' in the US. Are you friggin' kidding me?!?
NO ONE exactly knows what the hell is going to piss them off or to what extent.
Say this out loud and feel free to defend/explain the outrage, people:
THEY WANT HER DEAD BECAUSE SHE ALLOWED HER CLASS OF 7 YEAR OLDS TO VOTE ON A NAME FOR A TEDDY BEAR, AND THEY WERE OFFENDED BY THE NAME.

No censorship here: Fuck you, psychos.

Who Am I?

Hmm...maybe she's just too obscure now. There was a time she was the lead in a blockbuster way back in the day ........2003. (top 10, anyway)

Reality:
Death becomes her.

This stays on top until I get some guesses.
So the next clue will be written:
When she appeared, she was much more advanced model.

Oh, to be Frensh.

Not so much, thanks.

***UPDATE:
- Its seems the great gun laws in Fransh have led to rioters shooting at police.
- To really make their point these haute rioters burned down an elementary school and a library....to...uh....show...uh...er....intellectual superiority.
- Why did this start? Oh yeah, a couple of un-helmeted kids ran into a police car with their scooter and died. Someone has to be blamed.

Damn that cop car for being there!!!

Time to ban the Police car. They kill.

Oh, yeah, as of ~9 this morning, MSNBC sees fit to only obliquely report it as their 7th international story...following the future failings of the peace talks on top (by the way, if we can't win by talking, what should we be doing, MSM? But thats a post for a different day...)


Reality:
You know, for all of you that think we should "strive" to resolve issues like the Frensh, keep in mind that for a long time, the Frensh were seen as - to use my HS history teachers' description - the armpit of the world.
Some still see it.

TOOM!!

Best. Speedbump. Evah.
I SAID SLOW DOWN!!!




Reality:
I don't really know German all that well, so does the end of the video say "Slow. Down. A-hole." or not?

Better Than You.

That is probably the understatement of the decade.



H/T: The man with a view.


Reality:
What do you think? Influenced by ODB and 50cent or not?

Just doesn't seem right.

Britain's Got talent gets Amanda Holden:

We (American Idol) get Paula Abdul (hic):

Reality:

Life just isn't fair.

We are Frehnsch.

We resolve our diffahrences ahmikahbly.
Not like you American heathens.


Reality:
Didn't we cut this type of shyt out in the '20s or something?
Anyone want to tell me what more they want, by the way? (hint: it has something to do with how their government set up/controls their pension)

Um, yeah...

So. She decided to drop out of the competition because she wanted to head-off emberrasing pictures before they got released.

Please read her explaination:

Reality:
So you say that a man biting your breast in the middle of what appears to be a crowded bar while someone takes a picture is "meant to be private?"
Maybe she can can come over and I can show her the meaning of the word private some time, ya?

With apologies to Mr.Flynn...

Milwaukee introduced it's new Chief of Police....straight out of Springfield, I give you:

Reality:
Things are looking up already.
Don't worry, I'll have an open mind....for at least 3 months.

Results...

Well, last nite at Papa’s Social Club was quite a fun time.
Although there were on 7 people that showed up, we managed to raise a proportionately substantial amount for the Wisconsin Chapter of the MS Society.
This was achieved 2 ways:
- The two finalists, Nick and Asian Badger, generously decided to simply get their entry fees back and donate any winnings to the back to the charity.
- Ken Deavers – an accountant/tax guy (my term) who plays cards for funsies on Monday nites with me. Ken was kind enough not only to pre-pay his share, but he also paid my share so we could have 7 people play. This all worked out rather nicely, as he and I were planning on donating any winnings back anyway. (I wanted to link to Ken, if anyone would have any bookkeeping needs, but his office is in his home, so I don’t know if he would appreciate it. So if anyone would like his information, please contact me.)

Dickie – aside from being a great host, providing the location and supplying the great pizza – brought along his obvious gambler friend and joined in the game.
…..so did Stevegg. We hope this “setback” doesn’t preclude him from playing in the next one in January (stay tuned).

Big thanks to one and all!


Reality:
Stevegg…..at least you can count to 4, which is clearly better than I can do.
Four aces……..how the hell do I miss seeing I have that?!?!?
Oh, that’s right……I ain’t too bright. D’OH!!

C'mon...

As the 4 or 5 readers of this blog might have guessed, this cause hits kinda close to home.
Drink right. (Papa's, Tuesday)
Play game. ((Papa's, Wednesday)
Help. (See above...or below)

Even if you can't make it, maybe you could pass it along...


Reality:
Poker. Booze. Good Cause.
What else is there?
Get your minds out of the gutter....wait, is that just me?

Sweet!!

I knew it.

My dad was in the hospital once and was put an a low-calorie, restricted diet.
After a week of God-awful, bland and little food........he had gained a pound.
Had the open-heart surgery anyway and is now healthier than me...and he's 77!


Reality:
Yes, I did say a side order of bacon to go along with my (insert any food here).
I'm trying to stay healthy.

Happy Monday

Everyone needs to start Monday's with a laugh.
I hope this helps. Even if you've never seen the show.




Reality:
They tried to bring this show to the US same time as The Office, but it sucked so bad it was cancelled after the first show. Could you imagine doing this skit on American tv??
Yes, I own all 4 seasons on DVD.

Sigh....

Seriously, these are the vaunted "elites" that we should listen to?
They can't even compose a sentence that isn't from a template of some sort.
I get the whole don't-say-anything-that-will-get-us-sued mentality, but what the hell is so damn alleged about these two being in Mexico??
THEY ARE (were)!!


Reality:
To quote expert linguist and master massage specialist Mr. Jules Winnfield: "English, muther------, do you speak it??!?"

Uh....What?!?

What's the first thing you notice here?




Reality:

'Cause everyone (in the media, anyway) KNOWS that there is no such thing as a conservative student, right?

Reminds me of a joke from "Chasing Amy."
The easter bunny, santa claus, a lipstick lesbian and a militant lesbian are walking down the street and spot $100 bill. Who picks it up and why?

Good/Bad

Good News.
Loved Donnie Darko, but that's it. No way that toad should even be involed with The Reese.

Bad News.
You ever heard of Emerald nuts before his campaign?



Reality:
Yin and Yang.

Damn Skippy!

Reality:
The second picture is from the foul ball I got at Bosox spring training in Ft. Myers this year. So to ESK who thinks I'm a bandwagon jumper over at The Wisconsin Sports Bar, bite me.

Who Am I?

Ok, this one is fairly easy I know....



***UPDATE: Ok, so, apparently Silent e has a stable of informants he leans on. The woman in this incredible photo is indeed, Isla Fisher. RDW, while I want to give it to you for 'Mrs. Borat' (which is what I refer to her as....well, that or goddess in that pic. but I digress...) technically, she is not...yet. Although she did just create a 'Borat jr.'


Reality:
Yeah, I know its easy but how could I NOT post this pic?!?
I mean, Oh My God! Look at it. The picture is perfect, in my amature-wannabe-photographer opinion. I mean, she's a decent looking girl, but she isn't anywhere this breathtaking in "real life."

Classic.

Yet another example of myopic, bleeding heart, tree hugging liberals harming humans to 'feel good' about a f'cn policy.
The classic line:

[ "More than a billion gallons flow downstream from the north Georgia lake every day...mandates to protect two mussel species in a Florida river." ]

Reality:
Wake up, people. Before long they'll have us burning our food stock to 'save the planet.'
Oh, wait...

Is it just me?

Why does this make me think of this?

Or maybe it wont be long before we have midichlorians, huh?

Reality:
Maybe then I can dunk and stuff...
Something to look forwad to.

But...but..

This cant be right!
How can a republican 'foreign'-typoe win an election in the south??!?
And in Louisiana, of all places! Don't they know it was all GW's fault for Katrina?!


Reality:
Oh, that's right. Dihms keep rehashing the same tired stereotypes of repulicans and keep trashing the USA and its people. How they just dont give enough.
Take THAT, beetches.

Rally

OK, so unlike my fellow bloggers, present at the AFP rally held in Madison on Wednesday, I have been absent in giving my reviews – and pictures – of the event. I fancy myself more of a ‘ranter’ than ‘reviewer.’ The review is: it was AWESOME. I do believe that was my first – and hopefully not last – political rally.
I have to go to more…if nothing else to see that there really are lemmings in the world that hold up moronic signs that say ‘Do Your Job!’ when, gee, the people I voted for ARE doing their job showing some responsibility in their actions and my money. It was nice to meet some bloggers I had never met before, and it was very cool to put faces to the blogs.

Reality:
Madistan is too cool of a town to be taken over by wingnuts.

Just like real life...

Make stuff up, exaggerate, whip people into a frenzy.
Get rewarded.
Twice.


Reality:
Who doesn't know some incompetent moron at work that gets promoted to get him out of the way?

Medellin v. Texas

This case is in the Supreme Court of the U.S. today.
Why? Well mostly because we have a pansy of a prez when it comes to protecting the borders...but I digress.
My take on this whole think is a bit more far-reaching than this one case.

Basically, the stance is that Medellin was not told he could speak and seek help from the Mexican consulate or some such. Not that he was denied, mind you. Just not told it was an obscure right he had (so obscure his own lawyer didn't know). Anyone reading this aware that illegal aliens committing heinous crimes could do that? I didn’t think so.
He was read his Miranda rights, had a lawyer, the whole schpiel.

The whole thing stems from a treaty that nations have amongst each other. Like a courtesy among them, and to provide protection and – IMHO, protect their own sovereignty.
And that’s the rub, the fly in the ointment for me.

Anyone that knows me knows I would be first in line to flip the switch, hang the rope, drop the pill, or insert the needle – whatever.

However……

If the SCOTUS rules that the compacts that the US entered with other sovereign nations supersede the state rights on how to prosecute foreign criminals, its not all bad.

Once that is established, why cant the US go to all these hokey “sanctuary” cities and say:
“Yo, quit trying to make your own rules and ignoring the sovereignty of the country that gave you the right to even BE a state. This safe haven crap is basically saying ‘This state supersedes YOUR sovereignty’.”
Well, maybe no those exact words….but you get the idea.
You then send Medellin back to his country, where boys and girls can fear him.
He is, of course, released with the implicit point that the US would not be responsible for a stray bullet if he was ever “caught” in the US again.

Go ahead, tell me how off base I am.


Reality:
Ok, I'm not the only one that finishes this douchebags name with "drug cartel", am I?

Who Am I?

Yep, its that time.



Clue: No, he's not dead.

**UPDATE: Ok, so e got it on the first try (but he's a weirdo, so it happens). Yep, this is the boy who went from playing "Eddie" in The Courtship of Eddie's Father to the lead singer for The Dead Kennedys. Yikes!
Last time I saw him on tv was in the late 80's...he stunned the audience with his green hair...oooooo....
How times have changed, eh?


Reality:
You get this, you're weird.
Very Weird.

uh-oh...

Hey, um, anyone else here see sumpthin'?




Reality:
Hey, I'm not sayin'. I'm just sayin'.

When nannies collide.

Someone get the Jell-o!
Imagine how many doctors and nannies/federal workers would be put out of business if everyone in these here United States would look up the word "moderation" in the dictionary.
If they have one.



Reality:
Kinda like Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome....two nannies enter, one exits.
Awesome!

Wait.....what?

That can't be right.
We are at the mercy of big oil, SUV's and people who buy private tickets to fly public jets!
Bet someones upset.....




Reality:
Just curious, when can someone apply for a 'carbon refund?'

Snatch.

Loved that movie.

One of my all-time favorites.
Any surprise that when I saw this, it lept to mind??

Reality:
Better keep Frankie Four-Fingers and Boris away.

I'm just sayin'...

Idiocy.

This is what we are up against.
If you cannot see it, you are stupid.
And blind.

Period.


Reality:
I reeeeeeeally want the Hollywood elites to walk, unarmed with their fame, posse and money falling out of their pockets and try to talk to them. Or sing Kum-ba-ya.
Please.

Perspective

During the course of this summer, I attempted to keep track of the shootings and homicides in the city of Milwaukee.
My rough numbers are ~135 shootings and ~29 homicides.

~29.
For 3 months.

And what is the mantra being spewed by the elites of the city? “Deaths are down compared to the pace last year.” From the local rag: “…city has recorded 77 homicides compared to 81 at this time last year.”

Things are looking up!
Hell, I feel safer every day.


Reality:
Just because you are the tallest dwarf, it doesnt mean you are tall.
It just means you are a tall dwarf.
But still a dwarf.

Sick.

Ugh.


Reality
Are you kidding me?
Seriously, think about the repercussions of what you name your kids, folks.

HISHE

Agreed.
I hated this movie.
This coming from a life-long fan.





Reality:
The best line comes at about the 4:20 mark.
Complete Hollywood hack job.
This is how it should have ended...or even been.

Who am I?

Two looks this week:

The blonde is Sabrina. While she isn't the subject of this "Who am I?", its always nice to see her.
(No, I didnt watch Sabrina...more than 3 times, I swear. I was just surfing. Yeah. Surfing.)
Anywho, guess away:




*UPDATE: Wendy once again gets it with Soleil Moon Frye.
e chimed in first, but stumbled with the obligatory "Bea Arthur" guess.
I guarantee the next one wont be as easy.
Be prepared. You've been warned.

Reality:
A little "horse of face"*, but overall grew up quite nice.
..........and I WAS surfing!

*Horse of face is not a hint...just an opinion.

Some People

Just dont get it.
Morons. Morons. Morons.
Sometimes, perspective does the body good.
Money line:

[ "You know what the lamest part is? Listening to impotent John Kerry’s voice droning apathetically during the entire incident. " ]

Classic.

H/T Michelle Malkin (..sigh)


Reality:
Just another wing nut who
a) wants to re-live the past and
b) suffers from BDS
.............this is moveon?

Who am I?

HINT: I admit...she did come out of the blue.

UPDATE: Congrats to Wendy! It's Debbie Gibson.

I gotta admit...when I first saw that pic, I was thinking it was that girl from "The Fall Guy"

Yeah, I used to watch it...what?

Before:

Reality:
This one floored me.
She's older than I am.

Quote of the Day.

Where of where has this wisdom gone?

[ The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' ]

Reality:
Sometimes, lefties, Government IS the problem.
I guess that's just too unacceptable for nannys to deal with.

Clueless

From the first paragraph of this article.
Whats wrong with this paragraph:

[ "Closely following a sighting of a Hydrogen-powered 7 series during testing, BMW officially announced the Hydrogen 7 today. The car is touted as the first hydrogen-drive luxury performance automobile for everyday use. The BMW Hydrogen 7 will be built in a limited series, and sold to select customers in the U.S. and overseas in 2007. The engine in the Hydrogen 7, a derivative of the 7 series 12 cylinder engine, is capable of running on gasoline or hydrogen, and produces 260 hp. The car will accelerate from 0 to 62.1 mpg in 9.5 seconds. The ability to run on both gasoline and hydrogen gives the Hydrogen 7 a range of more than 400 miles. The high tech hydrogen storage tank has a capacity of approximately 17.6 lb of liquid hydrogen, giving the Hydrogen 7 a cruising range in hydrogen mode upwards of 125 miles. The gasoline mode accounts for an additional 300 miles of cruising range. The driver is the one who decides which fuel to use, with a smooth transition between both operating modes, since the engine power and torque remain identical regardless of the fuel used." ]

Reality:
C'mon, you can do it.
Think: "Hi, I'm a total lefty where facts and numbers are meaningless so long as they further the cause."
Then you'll be close. I'm thinking definately Freudian.
Don't get me wrong. I think this is cool as hell, but come on. Stop drinking the Global Warming Kool-ade and be grounded in real-life, will ya?

Oh HELL no...

Hollywood IS media for all you ignoramouses out there that don't think there is a bias.


Reality:
Why don't they just make him an "it" and give out plastic replicas of his testicles as a promo at the theater to prove a point?
I'm off to puke now.

God Loves Me..

This I know, 'cause the REALLY big TV tells me so. :-)




Reality:

This...

I'm too damn mad to even offer an intro comment.
Just watch.



Reality:
Let ME be clear here, Chucky...you are a colosal d-bag POS.
Please be kind enough to stop using mine and the troops oxygen.
So, this is better than a "wide stance?"

Miss a little...

Miss a lot.
So I was AFK (I was told it means "Away From Keyboard) for 98% of the time this past weekend. Too bad.
Shortly after I posted this story, I received a rather terse email from the author's husband.
Not the author, herself, mind you.
Her husband.
(You can paruse it here. I've removed addresses. Maybe a bad call on my part, but...)

Let's put the obvious question aside for now and lets focus a bit on the story itself.
If I were to say to you "Police were called to the corner of my block where they found a dead body in the upstairs apartment", what would you ask first?
Is it me, or is "why were they called in the first place" be one of the first questions you think of?
Did they have an ESP moment? Did someone just happen to point to the apartment when the cops just happen to be outside? Did someone hear gunshots coming from the apartment?
I mean, isnt that basic reporting?
Who? What? Where? When? WHY?
I learned this when I was on the paper's "staff" in 4TH GRADE.

This post was not an "attack" on your wife, sir. To be perfectly honest, I had no idea who wrote it until I received your "knight in shining armor" email defense.
YOU made it about your wife specifically. For all I know, they could have different authors every day.


Reality:
Of the dozen or so people I've shown your email to, the OVERWHELMING question has been: Why the hell did her husband email you and not her?
So feel free to ignore "my me" (whatever the hell that means..).
In other words, Mr. Spice, I WILL NOT be apologizing or printing a retraction.

Another....

Shining example of the future of "journalism."
Headline from MSNBC.
Yup. Keep up on him.
Maybe he can retire again.........that'll show him!!


Reality:
And some people thought Aston Kutcher wouldn't amount to anything.
When was the last time you added such a high-level word to the American lexicon?
I didn't think so.

Are you friggin' kidding me??

Read this.



Someone smarter than me want to tell me how the first guy died?
Police were called to the scene on a whim?
JS, if you needed concrete proof your paper and 90% of its "reporters" suck donkey balls, this is it.
Gee, I dunno. What do you think?
Should I "gamble" and add it to the list of homocide shootings on the right?



Reality:
You mean we're allowed to ask why the cops were called??
I did not know that. Nothing to see here. Move it along, move it along...

I DON'T THINK YOU GET IT:

DON'T.
CENSOR.
THE PENGUIN!!

H/T She

Reality:
This makes me ill.
If I tell you I grew up on "Bloom County", it should be easy to see where my sarcasm comes from, doesn't it?

So...is it just me??

Look at this msnbc.com "front page."

Am I the only one that had 2 questions immidiately pop in my head?
If so, why?
Per Paul Harvey, the rest of the story.

Reality:
I thought the questions were fairly simple ones.
Anyone?

PJ O'Rourke Award Goes To....

Sorry, PJ is the first thing that came to mind.

Reality:
An inordinate amount of people that inhabit this earth are both myopic and stupid.

Careful...

Or the thumb police might getcha!

AAAAAYYYYYYY!!

Good thing Arthur Fonzarelli did't have to clear it with this guy, huh?

Reality:

Come to think of it, the "copyright holder on the signature "thumbs up-thumbs down" judgment " kinda started in MY homeland ~2,000 years ago, didn't it?

And THEY didn't need no stinking "copyright."

Cos-stanza!

No, seriously, who else can wake up one day and say:
"Damn! That's a great idea!
I think I'm gettin' promoted after this."

Reality:
Hell, after the stealing allegations, and the payroll fiasco, I thought he was done for.
Go George go.

Leftie Experiment

So what do you do if the crap you've tried hasn't worked over the past few years?
Throw more money at it, of course!
Duh.
Money line:

[ "(money will be spent)...on battling corruption and other sources of crime, but will not increase the 575,000 police officers on the streets...This is the right path, for sure..." ]

Ah, yes.
It's not prevention, its all about doing something after someone is shot.
This is a country that boast Rio and Sao Paulo - 2 of the top ten most populous cities on Earth. But hey, who need more police? What they need is programs...3.3 BILLION dollars worth.

Reality:
Why am I talking about something in South America? Well, since the M.S.M sees this as a bold, and "heroic" initiative, its a matter of time before it hits our shores with even more force.
Still dont believe me? Another quote:
"“The majority of the problems in Brazil can be solved with more opportunities” for the nation’s youth"........just like the Milwaukee inner city?
God knows that they dont have enough opportunity.

What if...

The headline said...
"Another cokehead friend of Chavez 'hates' US!"
or
"Cokehead will take US dinero, but hates all other things US!"

Reality:
or, how 'bout...
"STFU, you has been POS"
Yeah, I like that one...

Ladies & Gents...

I give you: The future of Wisconsin Public Healthcare.


Reality:
Let me guess....that could never happen here, right?
Kinda like the gubbernmnet would never tell us how to eat, right?
Whatev...

I'm thinking....

I'm going to be sick.


Reality:
Always the same stupid-ass, ideas.
"I think we can talk to them this time, Rocky! (nuthin' up my sleeve..)"
Proving once again, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Jose Carranza

Someone want to essplane to me why the hell we are allowing "sanctuary" cities to pop up across this former great land of mine?
Isn't this just a form of cessation? How the hell is it NOT?
I get tired of nannies telling me that laws need to be changed because "...if we can only save just ONE child, it will be worth it."
Is that so? Well, when all you bleeding hearts are done feeling good about some BS obscure "statute" you managed to change, why dont you actully do something of importance?
The name in the title is one of the men being indicted for the execution style murder of those kids in Jersey.
Illegal alien. Already charged with rape of a 5-year-old (I guess that child didnt count) and roaming free. Apparent member of MS13.
This doesnt include the drunk driver in Houston & Virginia.
Or the gunman in Delevan.
These stories just went away.
What the HELL is the matter with you people?? You dont see a problem? Some children are worth saving and some are not? "Defend" children when there is money to be had from big business, but not when a life is actually saved?

What a joke.

Oh, and I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Reality:
Bleeding hearts never really care unless its their own heart that bleeds.
Hey, Fred, here's a "Guess the number" game for you: 2,190,000.

AWESOME!!

You know what this means, don't you?
I can't wait to bust out my laminated "victim" card!


Reality:
Does this mean I'll be allowed to use "honkey" and "cracker" in my songs?

WHOA!!

How awesome is THIS???!!!
How do you like them apples:

Mr. Hackbarth Goes To Washington.

Congratulations and all the best to you, sir.

Reality:
Does this mean that you will also have to do whatever his wife wants?

Idiot.

Dumbass.
"Rtard" (as heard on South Park)
Stupid.
Breck Girl.
....or one of the most used terms used to describe him: Hypocrite.
Call him whatever you like, but don't ever call this guy my president.

Reality:
This guy will do or say anything to get elected. This is a shock?
...oh, and add another reason for MM ;-)

Apophis

So being the geek I am, I was trolling around some astronomy sites and ran across this.
I mean........seriously?
I guess its something to look "forward" to...right?

Reality:
Well, if nothing else, it will give rise to Ookla and Princess Ariel.....so we got that going for us.

I KNOW You Were All Waiting For This..

Yeah, the next time "stars" have a feel-good fundraiser to help some cause, I will think of the money wasted on tripe like this and think "Perhaps all of you can kiss my ass" before I give them one red cent.
(Not that I ever did or would, but you get the idea...)

Reality:
Hollywood represents mainstream America my ass...

2nd PJ O'Rourke Award Goes To....

Mayor Tom Barret

[ "A Milwaukee police initiative aimed at reducing violence in the city this summer was credited today by Mayor Tom Barrett as a primary factor in a decrease in homicides and non-fatal shootings so far this year." ]

OK, you know the line....

Reality:
Read the article, look at the stats on the right. Are you kidding me??
"Non-fatal shootings" is peppered all over that story.
Hey, jerky, maybe the emergency responders are just getting better at treating the same crap over and over!!

It's Alive!!

The Spin lives on.

Reality:
"The Man" can't keep us (ok, them) down.

Hilarious

Ok, now go make us a hit!

H/T: The Game

Reality:
How'd you like to have that station manager job?

Be ready....

For all the sequels this summer!
I give you: Fantastic Four - Rise of the Silver Surfer.....The Musical.
This is a behind-the scenes look......




Reality:
Even this is better than Spiderman 3.

You go, Joe.

Tell me again why this is a bad idea?
Once again, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is ahead of the curve on another issue.

Reality:
This guy should be running for prez.
Or at least be appointed to some cabinet post by the next one.

Consens-this!

So I just got done watching a show on the History Channel Called Mega Disasters.
Incredibly, they were talking about how there were extreme temperature changes in the 1300's and how scientists fear it may happen again due to sunspot activity and natural undulations of the planet's ocean currents.
From the site:

[ New research has indicated to scientists that the climate is changing rapidly and unpredictably. In different parts of the world, we could be facing drought, floods, storms and extreme cold. ]

How the hell can this be? Were there SUV's in the middle ages? The Mayan empire?? Concensus??? BUELLER???!?!?

Reality:

It took them (the producers) a full 40 minutes to blame Global Warming if another Ice Age hits (but only in Europe and North America).

HUH!!!?!?!??!?!

Is Life Over Now?

Admit it....you all want to do a version of this:
Get over it.

Reality:
Never read a page.
Barely watched parts of 2 of the movies.
Life went on.
Crazy.

Friday Feature

How do you get around sensors to show porn on free TV?

Reality:
You ALL knew what was coming...

Inagural PJ O'Rourke Award

Why PJ O'Rourke? Well, in his book "Parliment of Whores", he gave us this description to an ordinary man or woman who tries to understand some of the crap congress pulls:
"What the fcuk?!?!? What the fcuking fcuk??!??"
This was my reaction whe reading an MSNBC story and came across this little nugget:

[ "A tiny provision tucked into a spending bill for Iraq requires that prescriptions for Medicaid patients be written on “tamper-resistant” pads. But most doctors do not use such pads." ]

The author writes the story as tho the biggest part of the story is all the people that aren't going to be able to get the prescriptions they need.
Hey, skippy, why don't you ask what the hell Medicaid patients are doing in the Iraqi spending bill!!
Unbelievable!!! The rest.

Reality:
WTF???!?
WTFingF?!?!

P Day

Reality:
Kick.
Ass.

So, then....

This global warming - good, then?


Reality:
Too funny.
I get a kick out of how scietists are all self-important. Proving sh..tuff one day only to disprove it later - or even this little tidbit. Science of the body is one thing. Science of the universe is still waaaaaaaaaay too far past concensus IMHO.
Unless you know better.