24 marzo 2010

I don't get it.

Late to the party to be sure, but as one comedian I heard said:
"It's like he cheated on the girl next door with Marilyn Manson."
You decide.



Reality:
Now I've never been a head-over-heels fan, but I always thought she was attractive.
Looking at the pics, however, its like having your favorite food every day of your life and then one day deciding to have [insert least favorite food here].

21 febbraio 2010

Take care of it yourself!!

Totally swiped from Big Geek.


Reality:
Sometimes, he's just got a thing.
(BTW, that is futbal he's watching Fred)

19 febbraio 2010

You really want science?

I am so tired of the Goreistas telling me that the Sun (that large H-bomb hovering in our sky) plays only an insignificant part in our climate change.
After all, it has nothing we can tax or regulate, so it has to be insignificant!


Reality:
That ball of fire produces more energy in one second than ALL OF HUMANITY SINCE ITS EXISTENCE. Whether your are a creationist or an evolutionist.
~98,000,000 miles away and it still can kill you.
But hardly any affect to our climate. Sure.
Idiots.

14 febbraio 2010

Inactive

Well apparently shut down due to inactivity is real.


Reality:
Maybe its time to rethink the "I'll get to it when I get to it" approach.
Eh..

15 ottobre 2009

Section 21+

I miss Monty.




Reality:
I only meant to watch the first 2 minutes, 'cause it cracks me up.....but I ended up watching until the flagrant violation.

04 ottobre 2009

Believe.

I don't believe in ghosts, but this is difficult to explain away....
Keep your eyes on the far doorway.



Reality:
I guess we see unexplained things everyday.

24 settembre 2009

Power, redefined.

Wow, still in the reader, huh? Ok, welcome back.
First, a primer.
This used to be the fastest production car in the world:

0-60 mph: 3.2 seconds
Top speed: 240 MPH
“It” is the McLaren F1. Produced by the same McLaren that sponsors Formula One cars (duh) and aptly named the “F1” – hey, these guys are engineers not highly paid creative guys.
It even looks like its speeding standing still, doesn’t it?

Meet its successor to the top speed throne – The Bugatti Veyron:

0-60 mph: ~2.5 seconds.
Top speed: 253 MPH

“So what” you say, “its not THAT much faster.”

That is until you realize that if you are in a drag race to 200 MPH, and you are driving a Veyron, you can give the F1 a head start to 120 MPH and you’ll still beat it to 200!!

Whoa.


Reality:
As an extra added bonus for you enviro types:
The Veyron has a 26.4 gallon gas tank.
Which means, if you run it at full throttle, the tank will run dry in just 12 minutes.
Suck on that, treehuggers.
Jeremy said it best:
[ "(This is) the greatest piece of engineering ever. No, I'm sorry, this is the greatest car ever made and the greatest car we will ever see in our lifetime." ]

06 settembre 2009

I don't get it.

How many reasons can there be to not make this movie?
Is it greed over contractual minutia or the quest to appease and sate the hardcore gamers with a quality, worthy product that leads Hollyweird to miss the boat entirely?

‘cause I’ve been wanting to see this movie for a while now…and this "preview" is as good as it gets.



Reality:
Do I really need another reason to buy an XBox360?
This game was the only reason I was going to buy it.
T-minus 24 days to B-day....

31 agosto 2009

For Fred & Jimi...

Good news/bad news

Yes, “my” team won and yes, Fred, “my” team is a futbal team.

So what’s the bad news, you say?
Well, my guy didn’t play at all (age and back problems are apparently not desirable in top-tier sports) but more than that….


Reality:
Their 3 best players – who were ridiculously impressive – were Brazilian nationals.
These guys aren't even stars on the team.
Rut Roh!….looking reeeeally bad for the Azzurri to defend, I must say.

22 agosto 2009

Hey, Packer fans...

Don't you wish Mike McCarthy would give an interview at the beginning of the season and said some thing like:
[ "We are Green Bay Packers and must live up to this name" ]
Well, my coach did just that.


Reality:
All you anti-soccer types, sorry.
Kickoff is tomorrow.
FORZA JUVE!!

28 luglio 2009

Yikes!!

A month....ugh...
I've been too political at RDW lately. Apologies to the 3 readers (yes, I know one is me).
I think I'll go hard-geek on this blog. Eh, its a release.
With that said...

Since this blog is called “Reality Check” I’m going to make a prediction that is based on a simple observation derived from extreme geekatude and my inability to NOT watch Discovery/History channel shows rooted in astrophysics:

You and I, nor or children nor our children’s children will travel anywhere near say….Uranus (insert joke here).

It’s simple math really (and anyone that knows me knows how I feel about math).
Right now our fastest rocket ship goes about 17,000 miles per hour. Granted, I’ve gotten speeding tickets for less but in reality, this is a snails pace.

Space is big (I expect a call from Stockholm after that brilliant piece of insight).
If we were able to shoot “straight at Mars”, at 17,000 mph it would take you roughly 130 days.
Great.
Then there’s the trip back.
And the supplies.
And the fuel.
Oh, and then there’s the nagging “cant really shoot straight there because of the whole motion of planets” thing.
And what if we went rediculoulsy faster? Say…..1,000,000 miles per hour?
Yup, about 35 hour trip.
Anyone think we’re close to achieving this speed?

The universal speed limit is ~186,280 miles per second (~669,600,000 MPH). Even if we were to achieve (close to) this and we shoot “straight to” Uranus (Ha! I’m a child, I know…)– it takes light roughly an hour and a half for light to travel there from Earth.
Well that would work – kinda. Unfortunately, that speed will not soon be approached.

Mars?
Maybe in a few decades.
Believe me, no one is more disappointed at this reality slap in the face than me.


Reality:
What if we go the other way, say...to Mercury?
Well that becomes even more problematic. You see, the Sun is hot (can you say Nobel Prize #2?).
I mean really hot.
As Jimi would say “Africa hot”….times a Gagillion-gazillion,
Ohh yeah…Nobel Prize #3!

*(FYI - I would have picked Pluto, but apparently its not an honest-to-goodness planet anymore. Pfft...)

27 giugno 2009

Final Edit.


Reality:
I really like penne all'arrabbiata...its my fav.
This would have really made the movie more popular, dontcha think?

19 giugno 2009

Comin' at ya!!



Reality:
This is actually my favorite song from the old country, circa 1976.
The song is really not about what I had been led to believe....
Long story that can only be explained verbally or at a much later time.

07 giugno 2009

You drive like a girl.

You wish.
I know everyone is all bent out ouf shape over Danica Patrick, but she's just a telentless seat warmer compared to Sabine Schmitz.
Look her up on You Tube if you have the time.
Watch one lap. The "Queen of the Nurburgring" is well worth the driving lessons.



Reality:
While this may be an older clip, whats not to love??
I recomend watching the entire thing (to get the full effect of why I love Top Gear so much), but the money lines are from 4:50 to ~5:55.
I wish I could drive like this girl.

01 giugno 2009

You're kidding right?

This looks like a cross between uber-cute and cute.



Reality:
Ok, so I'm a big ol' geek.
Or did someone else think this looked like a character from the old "Magician Lord" (fast forward to 1:39 - 1:43) game?
Hey, its my favorite game. What?
(hey, at least you're not married to me. somewhere the Mrs. is shaking her head, I'm sure)

16 aprile 2009

You can't do this.

No, you can't.
This whole post is basically all stolen from Geekologie.
Dude cracks me up every post.

This is a video of Isao Machii, who is billed as a modern-day Samurai, showing off his skills with the blade. It's a long video, so I'll direct you to the good parts.
1:45: Cuts the top half of a mushroom's cap off. Sent shivers down my pants.
3:30: Horizontally cuts a bean lengthwise. Sent shivers down my pants.
5:15: Cuts a 6mm Airsoft BB shot at him in half. GW realizes bringing a gun to a Samurai fight might not be enough.
8:00: Cuts an iron pipe in half without bending or warping the pipe. This part is skippable, since I totally could have done that. With my penis. HI-YA, BITCHES! Youtube Thanks to Jason, who once got a watermelon pregnant just by glancing at it in the produce section of the grocery store.


Reality:
But you should watch the first 50 seconds, anyway. This guy is totally sick.
The yutzes on Amazing Race, Survivor nor Deal or No Deal also cannot do this (well, maybe #10 on DoND, but I digress...).

10 aprile 2009

Tofuing.

Welcome to the new, constantly offended America:



Reality:
Granted, this may not be the easiest licence plate to explain to small children (oh, sure, you'll tell them that she just likes the food...while you and your other adult friends are snickering).
But this crazy-ass tree hugger (oh, shut up. I'd bet the farm and the condo I'm right) says:
"If the DMV is going to start censoring what people are thinking, that’s a little bit too 1984-ish for me."
NO, you crazy-ass. It's living in 2009 under the...er...broomsticks YOU elected....from a government agency THEY created.

27 marzo 2009

Never too early...

...to embark on a life-long skank crusade.
This really shock anyone?


Reality:
"...before you married the beast atop Mt. Bloodfang and were sealed to the ogre clan forever."
Classic advice.
The Maiden's chorus said it best, methinks.

05 marzo 2009

Never a fan.

Sure, Letterman has had his funny, even hilarious moments. But have you seen it lately?
Holy suckville, Insomniac Man!
Seriously, he usually has 1 guest on.
This week the guests have been (seriously):
Monday - Katie Couric (wtf?! all hour??)
Tuesday - Felicity Huffman and some comic mostly known in New York.
Wednesday - Dr. Phil

So why am I going through this torture?
Well, U2 has a new album and they will be on all week as the musical guests.

This bit made it worth DVR'ing (you're damn skippy I fast forward most of it):




Reality:
Even when Katie Couric (Katie Couric!!!) was trying to be magnanimous towards W, D-bag -- I mean Letterman, had to take shot after shot at W.
U2 won't be on after Friday.

18 febbraio 2009

Late to the party.

I’m pretty sure I’m the first, last or only person to have this moment of clarity, but it happened. (Late to make my point, too, I think - so please bare with me…)

Anyone that knows me at all knows that I watch any TLC, NatGeo or Disc. Channel shows that deal with astrophysics, astronomy or even parallel universes.
Don’t get me wrong, some of those topics and the math behind the theories can make me a little light-headed, but I’m a complete geek and I love ‘em. I guess that’s probably the result of loving the science, but not being able to do the actual math (string theory…wtf?!?).

Last nite, I was watching one of said shows that I had DVR’d (oh, yeah..the Mrs. loves that…) about the largest explosions in the known universe. They worked their way up in scale, and then declared that The Big Bang – the explosion that created the universe – was the unquestionable winner. After all, it contained everything, and it created everything…including time; since there was only void prior. They went on to say that until the mid-90’s, scientists postulated that the expansion of the universe would stop and then it would all end in The Big Crunch – when the universe contracted back on itself and the cycle is repeated.
In the 90’s they discovered that the universe was not only NOT contracting, but it was expanding at a record pace (record?!? compared to what??!?!).
So some of these giants of science decide to re-explain it away by coming up with a new theory to explain the expansion: dark energy. I won’t bore those of you still here, but it basically said: “forget what we though about the affects of gravity, just believe us that this is the reason.”

Funny theory, the big bang…one astronomer said that it was a meaningless question to ask what was there before or around the big bang “epicenter” prior to the explosion.

Is that because they can’t explain it?
That’s when I realized that the scientist and astronomers, et al are simply too afraid to confront the truth: that there was already a book that explained the “big bang” long before any of them was even born.
The name escapes me right now, but I’m sure someone will know it when I tell you about the line I do remember:

[ Let there be light. ]


Reality:
Isn't it funny how "regular" people are willing to embrace a duality rather than just knock down those eggheads that would not be willing to reciprocate?

16 febbraio 2009

I USED to rule the world...

...but I'm actually a stupid hypocrite.


Reality:
The Germans (my overlords) call this "schadenfreude."
I kinda wanted an SUV to drive over his foot as soon as he decided to plug Barack Obama after one of their songs on SNL.
Go eat some chips, you non-able-to-vote-in-my-elections dink.

10 febbraio 2009

Relax....

Just so we don't all get too obsessed with the vastness of the "spendulous" package, I present some perspective.




Reality:
None of those stars are the biggest known to man.
THIS is.

27 gennaio 2009

Dude! Are you serious?!?


Your International Spy Name is Wolf Goodnight


Your Code Name: Punchline
You Reside in: Geneva

Why You're a Good Spy: You're a good lover

This is totally me!


Reality:
Well, the reality is that this is just another stupid internet timewaster.

.....but its really freakin' cool!

22 gennaio 2009

Ughh....

I'm getting old.
Today is the 25th anniversary of the most influential commercial ever.
IMHO. After all, it aired once and it was tour de force.




Reality:
And so began the age of granola and elitism.
Just because you have an Apple computer, does not mean that you have a better product. It's difficult for all you Applejacks to grasp, I know.
But it's true.

16 gennaio 2009

Sorry, ladies...

Sometimes its just good to be a guy.






Reality:
Clearly, just guys would be bad.
Its just such a simpler life.


13 gennaio 2009

Bad news, geeks:

HA!
Your XBOX360 and Wii are outdated...



Reality:
Damn.
So is my PS3...and the other two I wanted to buy.

03 gennaio 2009

Admit it,

You have a dirty mind:




Reality:
Of course I DVR this.
Better to wake up to this humor than anything on the local stations.

29 dicembre 2008

G'head: Make up a better story.

This has to be the dumbest thing...ever.
In the history of ever.
But the staggeringly stupid part comes with this line:

[ "We need a bailout for kids at risk" ]
Huh??!?!?

What's the bailout going to be?
Common f**^ing sense??"
"Don't pull the f*&^ing trigger as a solution to your problem??"
"Don't be in a gang??"
WTFF!!??

Reality:
Truly, I missed out on several opportunities in real life.
I could have gotten government/private grants for studies that everyone can guess the answer to (I'd consult Captn. Obvious, of course.)
We as Americans only need a bailout from stupid people.

25 dicembre 2008

Clark Griswold is better than you.

You just know this is what he really wanted:




Reality:
Merry Christmas, everybody.

06 dicembre 2008

Lasers??!!?

Ever wonder what a movie about Star Trek v. Star Wars could look like?
...whatever....don't lie.
Here is part 1:





Reality:
The internet: the vestige of the lonely, techies and idle hands.
God bless them.

28 novembre 2008

The arrogance of the left.

Welcome.
Like I said, its George Carlin, so the video is posted here, not at RDW.




Reality:
"Ask those people in Pompeii" - classic Carlin.
Lefties are funny...and not too bright.

09 novembre 2008

ADP

Today is my favorite footballer's birthday -- Alessandro Del Piero.

In an era where footballers -- that's soccer to most of you -- transfer teams for millions of Euros each year, and on this side of the pond go into and come out of retirement and switch teams to ease their fragile egos, he has played for my favorite team -- the Bianconeri -- since 1993 and over ~565 games and counting (official site).
Oh, and he's a free kick legend.

Some of his highlites below...

(warning: Techno music)

Some idiots out there thought ADP was too old to play at Euro2008, so the Azzuri got killed.
This is from a game against Rome on Nov. 1, 2008 - 8 days ago.
(warning: Polish. Hey, its all I could find, can't transfer from DVR just yet)

Too old my ass.
Bend *this* Beckam.


Reality:
Just in case any of you anti-soccer types out there think this is just highlite stuff, think again.
Over the years (as evidenced by the hairstyle changes) I've watched this guy do this stuff and more every game.
A total playmaker, game changer and a genuine nice guy.
Deal with it.

17 ottobre 2008

I REALIZE THAT THIS IS THE LIBERAL WET-DREAM, BUT.......

One thing I'd like to point out that I have yet to see a Conservative pundit point out is......If the Bluer than blue, sadder than sad, Dem/Libs take-over of POTUS, Congress and Non-filibuster Senate occurs, and if the "fairness doctrine" is made law OR made policy by the FCC.
WHAT VOICE OR POWER WILL CONSERVATIVES/REPUBLICANS HAVE??
None. The "MSM" media is completely in the tank as well.
There will be complete silence. The democrat party will do what it pleases, and it will be reported through the completely co-opted filter of the leftist mainstream media. The tiny tiny slice of media, namely "talk-radio", will be government regulated for a nonsensical "fairness".How will ANY dissenting voice be heard??
Wise up America

24 settembre 2008

BARRY CAN YOU HEAR ME???

We've all seen political hacks in our days, but the tone deaf nature of Barry Obama vis a vis John McCains delaying the scheduled debate is bizarre. Obama and Joe Biden are probably 2 of the biggest posers in political history. Biden thinks FDR was President in 1929, and Obama thinks HE is President in 2008.
The gaffe machines rolls on. Keep up the good work democrats.

Ah...the wonders of socialism

Now, I ask you, how could this be possible without government intervention or help??




Reality:
I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Be afraid.

18 settembre 2008

The new change.

Just like Mondale -- and you know how well that went for his campaign.
Or any good wealth distribution socialist.
What a toool. He finally speaks the thoughts of the dems out loud.
Patriotic to pay more, not to do more.
Kennedy would be proud (the one that didn't kill Mary Jo).


Reality:
Think obamination bangs his head on the wall every time he regrets picking mr. soundbite?
Or do you think the wall is already destroyed?
What do you think hillary is thinking?
These debates are gonna rock.

16 settembre 2008

HARRY REID. REAL AMERICAN HERO.

"The war is lost."
"General Betray us."
and this dooooooozy.
"Oil is killing us. Coal is killing us. It's called GLOBAL WARMING and it's killing our country and killing our world."
Harry Reid's sons are like Joe Bidens' son. Lobbyists.
Harry is a Lib/Dem Senator from Nevada.

How does Harry "dimbulb" Reid, think that those who make Nevada successful, specifically Las Vegas............GET TO...... Las Vegas????

Solar jet power??

Libs are bereft of any moral compass or honesty.

15 settembre 2008

PJ O'Rourke Award Goes To....

Someone wanna clarify something for me?
As I was driving yesterday, I heard that WEAC sponsored the 2 minute warning during the Packer game.

WTFF?!?


Reality:
Oh, that's right, its for the kids.
Kids listen to football on the radio, so.....

12 settembre 2008

THE BUSH DOCTRINE

Simple question for Charles Gibson of ABC news.
Mr.Gibson, you asked Governor Palin whether she supported and/or agreed with the "Bush Doctrine".
Maybe she did.
Maybe she didn't.
Mr.Gibson? What is the Bush doctrine?
Mr.Libson? I believe it is customary to "cite" references. I do understand that, YOU, as an ABC news reader, are accustomed to reading SCRIPT, and that you may not have signed off on or necessarily approve of, BUT.... you seemed to imply that there was a "Bush doctrine". And even after Governor Palin answered your flawed/biased question twice, you continued.
That is laudible Charlie Libson, but.... could you please annotate, just exactly what the basis for your question was?? I mean it's easy to ask "Who won the election in 2000?". Because we all know that GORE did........right?? But, who defined what the "Bush Doctrine" is Mr. Libson?
The entire Charlie Libson "gotcha" moment was predicated on Governor Palin answering a loaded question, based upon Charlie Libson's SELF-INTERPRETATION of what "Bush Doctrine" was defined as.

Sad. Desperate.

AMUSING LIBERAL OF THE WEEK!

My first weeky (weakly) winner on this subject was an easy choice.

Pamela Anderson. Yes that Pamela Anderson, skin magazines, Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, Tommy again botox, boob jobs, etc......

It occurred to me that Sarah Palin handled Chuck Gibson and his "Bush Doctrine" faux pas question quite well. But what you may not know is that Pamela Anderson responded today when she gave her synopsis of the Bill Clinton Doctrine. She summed it up in 2 words.

SUCK IT.

DID SHE MAKE THE TEAM?

I read the Associated Press account, but it really didn't make it clear if she made the team or not. Does this mean she cannot be Homecoming Queen??

GREEN BAY, Wis. — A 33-year-old woman is accused of stealing her daughter's identity to attend high school and join the cheerleading squad.
Wendy Brown is charged with felony identity theft after enrolling in a Wisconsin high school as her daughter.
The criminal complaint says Brown admitted to telling school officials she was 15 because she wanted to get her high school diploma and join the cheerleading squad.
She allegedly attended practices, received a cheerleader's locker and went to a pool party at the coach's house.
The complaint says Brown has a history of identity theft. Her daughter lives in Nevada with Brown's mother.
There was no attorney listed in Brown's online court records. Her home number could not be found.

11 settembre 2008

9/11

I can remember exactly where I was on that fateful day.
I was unemployed that month. I was listening to Lazer (shut up) and hearing how the WTC was on fire – the live shots were on TV. Being the large building geek I am, I tuned in to CNN….and watched.
I then saw the second plane hit live.
I thought I was watching tape, until I realized that the other building was already on fire.
I was so stunned, I watched news channels for the rest of that month. Not really looking for a job. It was during this time that I became a Fox News Channel regular.
The proof?
This morning around 8 when FNC (to be fair, so was CNN) was showing the memorials at the Pentagon and WTC live, this was on some of the other channels:
Today Show: Pacino & Deniro interviews
GMA: Dolphin army?
Local Fox: Gus Gnorski on tour in Germantown
MSNBC: Replay of the broadcast featuring Katie and Matt. Katie was still waiting for it to be a bomb.



Reality:
This is remembrance? Never forget??
Hey, d-bags, even if you disagree with whatever politics, 2,700+ people died from an attack on the US.
I guess they’ll just wash over 12/7, too.
After all, once the obamassiah is on the throne, you wouldn’t want to get stuck in the past.
But apparently, stuck on stupid is ok.
Jucking fackasses.

Ooooooooooooo Barracuda

The more the left attempts to slime Sarah Palin, the more the left slides into oblivion.
Sweet irony. Empty suit Illinois Senator Barack H. Obama has lived by the media sword. And apparently Mr. Obama is self inflicting his "dying by the sword" wounds. Obama owned the "minority/grievance/victim class high ground. He got fat and sassy. He started to believe the hype. He was "destined", he was "chosen"......like the SHAM-WOW.....Germans loved him!! He could chain smoke his ciggy butts without fear of being exposed! (I'm sure he smokes Kool's) He has never been asked about Bill Ayers to any serious degree. Dan Rather and Chris Matthews didn't need to forge papers related to B.H.Obama's service to our nation. Barry was home free!!!!
HOME FREE!! As free as the wind blows, as free as the grass grows and so on........UNTIL.........

Ooooooooooooooooooooh Barracuda!!

10 settembre 2008

Oops...

Suck it, algore.

Yeah, ok, it's one book.
Plus all the other scientists/climatolagists that don't dare speak their minds for fear of being ostracized (for more on this, I humbly refer you to the videos on the right).


Reality:
Thanks for frucking up our lives with bs taxes, bogus "carbon credits" and enough d-bag legislation that caused some car factories to close.
Jag.

05 settembre 2008

Ah, changing back to High School...

We have spirit, yes we do!
We have spirit, how 'bout you?!?


Reality:
This is your press release for change?
Why dont you mention your broken word?
Now THAT would be change.
Grow up, ass-wipe.

04 settembre 2008

The Chicago Way.

Do you get it yet?
It's alot like this:



But you'd better be ready for this:




Reality:
Poser, you are going to get killed in the debates.
Your VP nominee's hair plugs are already quaking.

Compare & Contrast:

Compare:
Obama is Mr. Regular guy, right?
So he hangs out with the regular people, right?

Contrast:



Reality:
What a joke.
Cult of personality at its height.
"Oh, you're the mother of somebody famous?? Anything you want, then!"

03 settembre 2008

Just wow...

h/t to just about everyone that had it before me.




Reality:
I wanna vote for this guy.
Key line "MLK, a Republican by the way."
Ah, yes, the liberal dirty little secret.

31 agosto 2008

PUMA

I think Bubba would settle for sleeping with one eye open when he's home.




Reality:
Now its over right?
Unless she plans on one more run in 2012 when her slogan will be "I told you so" and "My husband and I tried to tell you."
Hey, unity by convenience is still unity, right?

26 agosto 2008

Overheard

Driving home last nite from one of the talking heads at the convention.

"Ted Kennedy is just such a heroic American."

Wow.
When I think "American Hero" I immediately think of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Kennedy.

Who doesn't?


Reality:
I can't decide who is a bigger broomstick: Teddy or the talking head that called him a hero.
Ya think Mary Jo's parents and family refer to him as a hero every July 19th?

22 agosto 2008

R.I.P.

I guess its kismet that he died in an auto accident.
But its ironic that he was on a Vespa and not one of the supercars his firm designed.


Reality:
If a friggin' Ford Fiesta can do this to a Vespa, what do you think a Ford F-150 Supercab can do to a smart car?
If you'd like to see some of the vehicles Pininfaria designed, go here--about half way down.

As Basil Fawlty might say:

Don't mention the war!
Ok, so you need to be a complete geek to get that reference.
But, really, I don't think this will be a special Olympic moment montage on NBC.

[ "I played my first Games in Barcelona in 1992 and got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than in the rest of my life up to that point." ]


Reality:
Damn, one less calzone and I coulda been a contenda.
Ok, alot less.

20 agosto 2008

What do you mean, "what do you mean?"

Its good to know not everyone is a media hound. I've seen specials on this guy (he has a brain tumor), and he really defines the term "gentle giant."
Non-assuming too.
[ (Stadnyk told Reuters he doesn't)
"need glory. I just want a normal life under normal conditions."
]

Crazy, huh?

.
Reality:
Wow, in this day and age someone who actually shuns the spotlite.
Somebody alert Paris.

19 agosto 2008

Question of the Day.

So:
If the Obama campaign lemmings can claim racism if he doesn’t get enough votes from white people, can McCain claim that 90% of the black people that vote for Obama are racist?

16 agosto 2008

Who am I?

NO HINTS. 9 out of 10.
Ok, maybe 11 out of 10.



Reality:
How this guy doesn't have the Congressional Medal of Honor is beyond me.

14 agosto 2008

I can haz moniz?

Or at least my racist children can.....being a minority and all.



Reality:
So then will the race debate finally be open for business?
or
Will I still be called a racist for wanting to classify myself as only an American?

(Starring the greatest cat evah - Jezebel)

09 agosto 2008

Oy vey!

'existential damage'

Could you imagine if people were allowed to sue here?


Reality:
Geez....
I'm ashamed at some of the things I used to yell out at Bulls fans.
Good thing I wasn't sued or I'd even be worse off!

07 agosto 2008

Ah, yes....the news...

This from toda's MSNcrapBC's front page:



How much longer of a sentence do you think this guy will get just for thinking about harming his holiness?


Reality:
How's this for bullshhhhh....:
"Salim Hamdan says he worked as Osama bin Laden's driver because he needed a job."

Yeah, ok, asswipe.
I'm sure the gas meter attendants said the same thing at Auschwitz.
What a joke.

04 agosto 2008

Hey, guess what?

We have a new proclimation:

[ "Iran Tests 'New Weapon', Says It Can Easily Close the Strait of Hormuz" ]

Reality:
Hey, Nutjob, we have an 'old weapon' that we can easily turn your pissy little country into a parking lot.

25 luglio 2008

Sad but true.

From The Times
July 25, 2008

He ventured forth to bring light to the world
The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followers



And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.
The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.
When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”
In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.
Background




Reality:
Isn't the anti-Christ kinda the same?

24 luglio 2008

FYI

Nature goes on with or without humans.
Try to stay out of the way.


Reality:
Of course only an algore would think that he would be loved....as they pick their teeth with his Oscar and floss with his Nobel prize medal.

23 luglio 2008

Invasion.

Has it already begun?!?




Reality:
Stay vigilant.
It could come from anywhere.

18 luglio 2008

What am I?




Reality:
This back story is just hilarious.

13 luglio 2008

Do the world a favor.

Don't breed.


Reality:
Like parachute pants and multi-zippered pleather jackets, I'm glad I never have to look back on my life and say "Oh my God, why did I ever do that?!"
Thank you, Mrs. still Unreal.
You came along just in time.

11 luglio 2008

Wanna take bets?

To see how long it will be before the rest of the world - and/or American lefties - take to piss and moan that we (America) didn't do enough to depose him?
How we didn't do enough to stop him from killing his own people?
Wanna see the vote:

Notice all the bastions of world freedom that voted against the sanctions....


Reality:
How can we "give sanctions time to work" when we can't even enforce them anyway?
Eh, it would have taken another 16 sanctions before anyone even noticed, anyway.....then the lefties will piss and m
oan that we didn't give him enough time anyway..

What matters most.




Reality:
You don't think he owes on deals he made with other people, do you?
Gee, I hope not.

10 luglio 2008

Most of it?

Hell......in his world, even 50 states would only be most.
Right?


Reality:
Yeah, go to Montana and tell them that you missed learning about that state in law school.
As Beavis would say........what a chode.

Oh, man...

Is nothing sacred in the new religion?
And WTF does this mean?!?!?!
"...upcoming carbon emissions regulations in Europe that will severely restrict engine power..."

Reality:
This better not take away from the roar of the engine or I'm going after Harley next.
You listenin' hog?

01 luglio 2008

Finally!

The plot line for the new Bond movie says this:
"Seeking revenge for the death of his love, secret agent James Bond sets out to stop an environmentalist from taking control of a country's water supply."

So hopefully, he'll go after the environazis.
The trailer looks like this:


That's great and all that he's going after the environazis this time. I bet they thought they were untouchable...like they always do.


Reality:
Eh, color me a cynic but I think in the end the enviros will turn out to be associated with "Big Water."

24 giugno 2008

"A mess" you say?

So...because there's a high percentage of foreclosures in CA, FL, AZ and the Vegas area - places where it seems to always be high - we are in a "mess?"
Please be sure to click on previous years as well...
Should the percentage always be at zero? Wouldn't that mean that taxpayers would have to help with the mortgage...........?


Reality:
Since when is a foolish consistency re-classified as a mess and not the hobgoblin of little minds?

17 giugno 2008

Aw, Bullwinkle, that trick NEVER works

This time for sure, Rocky.

Nuthin' up m'sleeve.


Reality:
And the wheel spins again.
See ya again next cycle....

14 giugno 2008

Classic.

Now what?


Reality:
If you get out of bed in the morning, you kill the earth.
What the hell?!?

13 giugno 2008

Who said it?

[ "Twenty years of votes can tell you much more about a man than twenty weeks of campaign rhetoric. Campaign talk tells people who you want them to think you are. How you vote tells people who you really are deep inside." ]


Reality:
Its only about "the show" these days, isn't it?

11 giugno 2008

Ban idiots, not guns.

When Benny Hill met the winners of the Darwin awards:




Reality:
If this doesn't prove people and not guns kill, I don't know what will.

06 giugno 2008

GO GO Magic Messiah!

Maybe if Israel doesn't follow a policy of terrorizing other countries, they wouldn't be targets of terror, right?
Or
Maybe they need someone to go over there and tell the Israelis to HOPE for Iran to CHANGE, right?


Reality:
OR
Maybe the middle east is just waiting for the Messiah (no, not that one....the hip, new one) to come along and spout the magic words that will make the Arabs, Persians and Palestinians stop wanting to exterminate Jews.

04 giugno 2008

The Black Messiah Deception

Yeah, you know who I’m talking about.
Call him what you like: Chosen One. Messiah. Big “O”…whatev.
He’s the current incarnation of the Goracle – only way more hip and happenin’. Certainly more current and definitely with a much more defined version of his messed up future.
Ah, yes……..”The Future.”

Racist America’s first black candidate, and it’s abut time!…that’s right, isn’t it?

Uh, yeah, this is the part of the program where I dump the PC crap and tell it like I see it.

MESSIAH:
This mantle is not just something the American media is bestowing. The rest of the world seems to think America needs Barack to save them, too. (No, not like America saved their asses when they needed it, but to change its ways - of course).
As I watch BBCNews for example, I see the elitist anchor going to Michigan and asking a white man if “a white Michigan could vote for a black Obama.”
The white man stuck the answer with: “no less than a black Michigan could vote for a white McCain.” ZING!
They then cut away to show riots of the 60’s of how inhumanely blacks were treated “when Obama was just a boy” (you know, like he was there and not Kansas or Hawaii). It went on...
Anchor: “With the gas prices and mortgages rising and the economy tanking, America is looking for a better direction.”
WTF?!?

By the way, the Messiah complex isn’t something that Barack is running away from either. He’s embracing it and buying his own crap.
From his website:
Barack's father eventually returned to Kenya, and Barack grew up with his mother in Hawaii, and for a fewyears in Indonesia. Later, he moved to New York, where he graduated from Columbia University in 1983.
THE COLLEGE YEARS:
Remembering the values of empathy and service that his mother taught him

That’s it.
It goes from his father leaving him to going to law school – you know, like most Americans.
Kinda like the story of Jesus, eh? I guess he doesn’t need the missing years either, does he? (oh, and NO mention of when or how he decided to join Trinity….weird).
Even his childhood basically talks about his father and not Obama’s.

THE SLIGHT OF HAND:
No way Obama should be called “black.”
Period.
He’s mulatto at most.
The headlines should say: “First Mulatto Nominee For US President”, shouldn’t it? Or is all we need these days to be embraced (at a rate of 80%+ voting clip!) by the black electorate is a drop or 2 of “black blood?”
Sounds racist to me.
Still want to call him black?
OK, let’s review….
His mother was white.
He was raised BY his mother and grandmother (no mention of the granny he threw under the bus on his website, either).
What happened to his black father??
All he says is:
Barack's father eventually returned to Kenya, and Barack grew up with his mother in Hawaii, and for a few years in Indonesia.” (that would be Indonesia of country with the largest muslim population on the planet fame)

Again, dad just left?!?
That’s how you claim your black heritage, because of a sperm donor??
Hey, Barack, is that why you threw yourself at Trinity United and the rest of the racists (Oh, get off my back. I’m not the only one who saw the entire congregation cheering at Amerikkka and how America is the greatest sin to God. Please spare me and open your eyes).

At some point, don’t you have to wonder how much of his “soul” he sold to be followed blindly by Trinity et. al.?


Reality:
Tell me again what “mr. everyman messiah” has in common with black men in the inner city of Milwaukee?
Other than, like a lot of them, his Dad left Barack to a single working mom, of course.

Yeah, this is where I get into trouble.

29 maggio 2008

Where are the headlines?

Bush botched the handleing of post-Katrina.
Bush put us in a war that started badly.
The intelligence (that the rest of the world also believed) was inaccurate.

What exactly is the point of Mclellan's book/talk show tour?
Diddy has the idea.


Reality:
I guess I'm just a heathen or grew up on the wrong side of the tracks but....
Any man who sits quietly all the while vehemently disagreeing with his boss for years. Who doesn't say anything but instead defends his boss in front of the entire world and then claims "I was just doing my job" --- is just a spineless twat. And a coward. Or a Judas.

28 maggio 2008

I'm shocked!

Shocked, I say!

Who would have known? The UN is such a well-run institution.


Reality:
We give so much money to those beaurocrats, its impossible for it not to work!
BONUS question: Somewhat unrelated....anyone know who the paid sponsor of the famed Barcelona football (soccer) team is? (clue: its all about the children)

27 maggio 2008

Epic. Fail.

The true definition of "Epic Fail".
All you geeks that watch Attack of the Show on G4TV, you get what I mean.
What? I saw it once....I swear.


Reality:
pfft.....vive le france, my ass.

26 maggio 2008

This kind of willpower during WWII would have doomed us all

This story is borderline ridiculous.

Back when I was a "re-imaging" PM working for our customer, I was in charge of the NYC area. I was stunned to find out that one of the McDonalds that we needed to re-image was on the USS Intrepid.
At first, I thought it was a joke or it was something in the vicinity.
"No, no", the MCD rep said, "it's the one on in the Intrepid." (talk about a logistical nightmare)

So reading this story, it just strikes me as incredibly funny that MCD - and the city - can't pony up some cash -- after all, there is a renovated, money making McDonald's on board.


Reality:
Get it done.
Get it done or forget ever giving any money to some lame-ass "museum."
You wouldn't have had any performing arts anything if THIS floating museum wasn't around.

24 maggio 2008

Hugo Chavez, redux..

WOW!
It must be that biased news network's fault, eh.

h/t: Pete.


Reality:
This surprises anyone (with brains and a coherent thought process)?

22 maggio 2008

Let me get this straight...

McCain goes on Ellen -- a well-documented liberal, gay activist who's every question seemed snarky and a challange -- and talks openly about gay marriage, but The Chosen One can't go on O'Reilly -- a guy that that neither the left or the right can seem to figure out where he stands -- because he doesn't think he will be treat fair?

What a dingleberry.

Where are the stones?
Even the Hillary "subjected" herself to his interview. And didn't seem to mind it all that much.
All this guy seems to be able to do is piss, moan and whine about the questions being to "tough."
What magical words will he use to ensure a "fair" conversation with Jong-il or Ahmadinijad?

Good God, man...answer a damn question instead of BS prose answers that have no substance!
Have any of you seen his website?
It's a friggin' joke.
He basically promises everything....all the time....with - what we in the poker community call - an "out." Meaning, if taxes get too high or America falters. he can just say...."well, it must be because of the previous administration. I want to give you everything."


Reality:
Obama, you are a p***y.
Don't ever presume to represent me.

21 maggio 2008

Shoulda talked more...

...to avoid events like this.

GD those crazy, war-mongering, imperialist Swedes.

16 maggio 2008

You v. Bill of Rights

This is the kind of topic that would normally wouldn't mind putting up on RDW. Being that this particular time I am so ticked off, I doubt I would be able to control my language.

This is the story of 4 people in KKKalifornia (think about it - it's really the same mentality) that are better think - KNOW - that they are wiser, more compassionate and certainly more powerful than your vote or how you may feel: the KKKalifornia Supreme Co..er..ourt.

Any of you libtards out there wanna tell me when its ok that the thoughts and activism of 4 people supercedes the feelings of MILLIONS in the state:
"government of the people, by the people, and for the people."
Yup Abe is spinning in his grave right now at the new mantra:
"Government of the people, unless we disagree, then we'll impose our will in the courts. Voting...pfft!"

I think Big Brother would be proud.
Maybe Castro.
Certainly all those dictators who claim to be "like uncles" or some such nonsense to their people (yeah, I'm looking right at you, Jong).
Does anyone remember when there was a fuhquing constitutionl amendment against gambling and pro gun rights in Wisconsin?

The complete hypocrasy starts about a minute into this BS when D-bag starts talking how its about people (by the way....does this have anything to do with "2 Americas?" You know- what you want vs. what we say you should have).


Reality:
Soon they will tell you what food you are allowed to eat, too. Oh, wait....
What a complete set of jucking fackasses.

07 maggio 2008

Global warm THIS, algore.

More info here.


Reality:
Huh....huge tornado that erupts after 9,000 years and no pollution/chemicals were spewed into the air. No, no slanted or yellow "journalism" here.
Only science.
Right. I'm guessing an SUV is buried at the bottom of this.

24 aprile 2008

More of the same...

...for a bit, anyway. Blogging lite, that is.
Sigh....the "on" button on my computer only makes it beep LOUDLY 3 times when I push it. And it doesn't think I have a mouse or screen. Dammit.


Reality:
It's now been 387 hours, 44 minutes and 38 seconds since I've had quality time with my online poker account. I think I'm doing ok, though....don't you?
Go 'head....bet me I can't make it to the weekend. I double-down dare ya!

17 aprile 2008

Speechless.

So this is how far we’ve come?

This is just so sick and disgusting that it can only come from the mind of a granola-eating, Birckenstock-wearing, tree-hugging, value-the-life-of-a-gartersnake-more-than-a-human-being lefty.
Think I’m wrong?
Prove it.


Reality:
I don’t ever want to hear some lefty telling me about what rights we do not have in this country that other countries do.
Like Cuba. Or France.
I’m disgusted.


***UPDATE:
Ok, so it was "performance art", so it was untrue. However its like I've always said about watching the movie "Se7en" - while it was disturbing to watch, you gotta think "what's up with the people that come up with this shyt?!?!"
...and whats up with the people that actually like this movie......like me.

14 aprile 2008

How wrong is this?

On a scale of 1-10?




Reality:
Man, this would have been off-the-charts wrong if I would have seen it around Easter, eh?

10 aprile 2008

And on, and on, and on......

Think of it in terms of poker. This is the first salvo....in poker, it's what we degenerates call a "feeler bet" - to test the waters.
You propose a bet to see if anyone has a better hand or to see how many people you can bring along to call if you feel you have a winning hand.
In my opinion, however, this is a bit early (I would have used a "pre-flop" reference, but I'm late for my GA meeting).
In my opinion, about 5 years too early but hey, what do I know?


Reality:
Please make this end.
Please.

03 aprile 2008

As PJ O'rourke would say...


WTFF??!?

This story just pisses me off to no end!!


Reality:
e, anytime you wanna crack a bottle of Rehorst, let me know.

Remember....

When da 'rats made such a fuss (ok, more like they had an conniption fit) over GW saying something along the lines of "If you're not with us, you're against us?"

Tell me 'rats..........what's the diff?
While it is understood in your circles that the big "O" walks on water and can do no wrong, have you all sucked down so much of the kool aid that you are ready to alienate the entire other half of your party completely?


Reality:
Of course you are.
Its the nature of the 'rat.

Take that..

Who hasn't wanted to do this?

Reality:
Don't piss off old world septegenarians.
You won't intimidate them.

02 aprile 2008

Suckers

Can't blame the guy too much for wanting to get the hell out of Dodge the day after the massacre, can you?
I'm sure its all his money and not the state's money while he's there, ya?

Reality:
If you didn't vote for this guy, you get the title.
Those of you that voted for this guy understand the title, too, don't you?

01 aprile 2008

Ooops....

Wow, has it really been over a month since I posted on my own blog??
Ok, well....as far as the update with Mrs. still Unreal-in-law, she is recovering nicely finally. I...er...oh, thats right, I have to stop thinking like that....WE would like to thank everyone for all their prayers and well wishes.

Ok, on to normal blogging. Its been a while since I "lol"ed at anything political. Smirk, sure, but this cracked me up. I was a little late to pick up on it. H/T to Da Blogfather:

12 febbraio 2008

Blogging lite

Not that anyone would be bothered by that...

The soon-to-be Mrs. still Unreal-in-law (The soon to be Mrs. still Unreal's mother) suffered a series of strokes over the past week.

She is undergoing a battery of tests at St. Luke's in Milwaukee. As a matter of fact we are on our way up there right now.

We would appreciate any prayers for her well being.

04 febbraio 2008

Know what?

'Nuff said.

H/T Unkie Fred


Reality:
This must be part of the whole lemming "core samples" BS.

03 febbraio 2008

HA!!

This is what happens when there are so many laws, you can't really keep track.


Reality:
It appears that even when my peeps screw up they do a good...er..ish thing.
I think this kind of explains some of the fashions coming out of Milan, eh?