G'head: Make up a better story.

This has to be the dumbest thing...ever.
In the history of ever.
But the staggeringly stupid part comes with this line:

[ "We need a bailout for kids at risk" ]

Huh??!?!?

What's the bailout going to be?
Common f**^ing sense??"
"Don't pull the f*&^ing trigger as a solution to your problem??"
"Don't be in a gang??"
WTFF!!??

Reality:
Truly, I missed out on several opportunities in real life.
I could have gotten government/private grants for studies that everyone can guess the answer to (I'd consult Captn. Obvious, of course.)
We as Americans only need a bailout from stupid people.