Ladies and Gentlemen...

I give to you the religion of peace.
Now go forth and coexist with these peaceful, loving majority.
Douchebags.


Reality:
Back when I first learned about about stratas and the region we live in, I was incredulous that we lived in a "forest" area. 'No way', I said 'we live in a city, not a forest.' (I was young, ok?)
It wasn't until I was driving through town that I had the proverbial moment of clarity. Once I looked past the houses and building, I realized that there were trees everywhere.
Why this look into my really effed up past? Simple.
Look past the BS talking points of the presidential candidates and think about the world as a whole. The world may suffer from famine, unfairnes and desease. This country may have life-or-death disagreements such as how to provide healthcare to everyone, taxes, gays in the military and banning guns. But we ALL suffer from the growing problem that is Sharia law and bs 'laws' enacted by this religion. And, please, spare me the crap about how these people are just extremists who exploit a religion. Screw you. How many does it take to not make it just 'some' people? If its the republican party in this country, its just one. What does 'thousands' make? A few? Most? Oh, and lets not forget about how the minority -by their definition - is trying to ban a muslim for saying, basically, "Hey, maybe we shouldn't be bombing Israel."
Where is WHO, Amnesty International, the feminist movement and any other group calling for 'fairness' in the US. Are you friggin' kidding me?!?
NO ONE exactly knows what the hell is going to piss them off or to what extent.
Say this out loud and feel free to defend/explain the outrage, people:
THEY WANT HER DEAD BECAUSE SHE ALLOWED HER CLASS OF 7 YEAR OLDS TO VOTE ON A NAME FOR A TEDDY BEAR, AND THEY WERE OFFENDED BY THE NAME.

No censorship here: Fuck you, psychos.

Who Am I?

Hmm...maybe she's just too obscure now. There was a time she was the lead in a blockbuster way back in the day ........2003. (top 10, anyway)

Reality:
Death becomes her.

This stays on top until I get some guesses.
So the next clue will be written:
When she appeared, she was much more advanced model.

Oh, to be Frensh.

Not so much, thanks.

***UPDATE:
- Its seems the great gun laws in Fransh have led to rioters shooting at police.
- To really make their point these haute rioters burned down an elementary school and a library....to...uh....show...uh...er....intellectual superiority.
- Why did this start? Oh yeah, a couple of un-helmeted kids ran into a police car with their scooter and died. Someone has to be blamed.

Damn that cop car for being there!!!

Time to ban the Police car. They kill.

Oh, yeah, as of ~9 this morning, MSNBC sees fit to only obliquely report it as their 7th international story...following the future failings of the peace talks on top (by the way, if we can't win by talking, what should we be doing, MSM? But thats a post for a different day...)


Reality:
You know, for all of you that think we should "strive" to resolve issues like the Frensh, keep in mind that for a long time, the Frensh were seen as - to use my HS history teachers' description - the armpit of the world.
Some still see it.

TOOM!!

Best. Speedbump. Evah.
I SAID SLOW DOWN!!!




Reality:
I don't really know German all that well, so does the end of the video say "Slow. Down. A-hole." or not?

Better Than You.

That is probably the understatement of the decade.



H/T: The man with a view.


Reality:
What do you think? Influenced by ODB and 50cent or not?

Just doesn't seem right.

Britain's Got talent gets Amanda Holden:

We (American Idol) get Paula Abdul (hic):

Reality:

Life just isn't fair.

We are Frehnsch.

We resolve our diffahrences ahmikahbly.
Not like you American heathens.


Reality:
Didn't we cut this type of shyt out in the '20s or something?
Anyone want to tell me what more they want, by the way? (hint: it has something to do with how their government set up/controls their pension)

Um, yeah...

So. She decided to drop out of the competition because she wanted to head-off emberrasing pictures before they got released.

Please read her explaination:

Reality:
So you say that a man biting your breast in the middle of what appears to be a crowded bar while someone takes a picture is "meant to be private?"
Maybe she can can come over and I can show her the meaning of the word private some time, ya?

With apologies to Mr.Flynn...

Milwaukee introduced it's new Chief of Police....straight out of Springfield, I give you:

Reality:
Things are looking up already.
Don't worry, I'll have an open mind....for at least 3 months.

Results...

Well, last nite at Papa’s Social Club was quite a fun time.
Although there were on 7 people that showed up, we managed to raise a proportionately substantial amount for the Wisconsin Chapter of the MS Society.
This was achieved 2 ways:
- The two finalists, Nick and Asian Badger, generously decided to simply get their entry fees back and donate any winnings to the back to the charity.
- Ken Deavers – an accountant/tax guy (my term) who plays cards for funsies on Monday nites with me. Ken was kind enough not only to pre-pay his share, but he also paid my share so we could have 7 people play. This all worked out rather nicely, as he and I were planning on donating any winnings back anyway. (I wanted to link to Ken, if anyone would have any bookkeeping needs, but his office is in his home, so I don’t know if he would appreciate it. So if anyone would like his information, please contact me.)

Dickie – aside from being a great host, providing the location and supplying the great pizza – brought along his obvious gambler friend and joined in the game.
…..so did Stevegg. We hope this “setback” doesn’t preclude him from playing in the next one in January (stay tuned).

Big thanks to one and all!


Reality:
Stevegg…..at least you can count to 4, which is clearly better than I can do.
Four aces……..how the hell do I miss seeing I have that?!?!?
Oh, that’s right……I ain’t too bright. D’OH!!

C'mon...

As the 4 or 5 readers of this blog might have guessed, this cause hits kinda close to home.
Drink right. (Papa's, Tuesday)
Play game. ((Papa's, Wednesday)
Help. (See above...or below)

Even if you can't make it, maybe you could pass it along...


Reality:
Poker. Booze. Good Cause.
What else is there?
Get your minds out of the gutter....wait, is that just me?

Sweet!!

I knew it.

My dad was in the hospital once and was put an a low-calorie, restricted diet.
After a week of God-awful, bland and little food........he had gained a pound.
Had the open-heart surgery anyway and is now healthier than me...and he's 77!


Reality:
Yes, I did say a side order of bacon to go along with my (insert any food here).
I'm trying to stay healthy.

Happy Monday

Everyone needs to start Monday's with a laugh.
I hope this helps. Even if you've never seen the show.




Reality:
They tried to bring this show to the US same time as The Office, but it sucked so bad it was cancelled after the first show. Could you imagine doing this skit on American tv??
Yes, I own all 4 seasons on DVD.

Sigh....

Seriously, these are the vaunted "elites" that we should listen to?
They can't even compose a sentence that isn't from a template of some sort.
I get the whole don't-say-anything-that-will-get-us-sued mentality, but what the hell is so damn alleged about these two being in Mexico??
THEY ARE (were)!!


Reality:
To quote expert linguist and master massage specialist Mr. Jules Winnfield: "English, muther------, do you speak it??!?"