2nd PJ O'Rourke Award Goes To....

Mayor Tom Barret

[ "A Milwaukee police initiative aimed at reducing violence in the city this summer was credited today by Mayor Tom Barrett as a primary factor in a decrease in homicides and non-fatal shootings so far this year." ]

OK, you know the line....

Reality:
Read the article, look at the stats on the right. Are you kidding me??
"Non-fatal shootings" is peppered all over that story.
Hey, jerky, maybe the emergency responders are just getting better at treating the same crap over and over!!

It's Alive!!

The Spin lives on.

Reality:
"The Man" can't keep us (ok, them) down.

Hilarious

Ok, now go make us a hit!

H/T: The Game

Reality:
How'd you like to have that station manager job?

Be ready....

For all the sequels this summer!
I give you: Fantastic Four - Rise of the Silver Surfer.....The Musical.
This is a behind-the scenes look......




Reality:
Even this is better than Spiderman 3.

You go, Joe.

Tell me again why this is a bad idea?
Once again, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is ahead of the curve on another issue.

Reality:
This guy should be running for prez.
Or at least be appointed to some cabinet post by the next one.

Consens-this!

So I just got done watching a show on the History Channel Called Mega Disasters.
Incredibly, they were talking about how there were extreme temperature changes in the 1300's and how scientists fear it may happen again due to sunspot activity and natural undulations of the planet's ocean currents.
From the site:

[ New research has indicated to scientists that the climate is changing rapidly and unpredictably. In different parts of the world, we could be facing drought, floods, storms and extreme cold. ]

How the hell can this be? Were there SUV's in the middle ages? The Mayan empire?? Concensus??? BUELLER???!?!?

Reality:

It took them (the producers) a full 40 minutes to blame Global Warming if another Ice Age hits (but only in Europe and North America).

HUH!!!?!?!??!?!

Is Life Over Now?

Admit it....you all want to do a version of this:
Get over it.

Reality:
Never read a page.
Barely watched parts of 2 of the movies.
Life went on.
Crazy.

Friday Feature

How do you get around sensors to show porn on free TV?

Reality:
You ALL knew what was coming...

Inagural PJ O'Rourke Award

Why PJ O'Rourke? Well, in his book "Parliment of Whores", he gave us this description to an ordinary man or woman who tries to understand some of the crap congress pulls:
"What the fcuk?!?!? What the fcuking fcuk??!??"
This was my reaction whe reading an MSNBC story and came across this little nugget:

[ "A tiny provision tucked into a spending bill for Iraq requires that prescriptions for Medicaid patients be written on “tamper-resistant” pads. But most doctors do not use such pads." ]

The author writes the story as tho the biggest part of the story is all the people that aren't going to be able to get the prescriptions they need.
Hey, skippy, why don't you ask what the hell Medicaid patients are doing in the Iraqi spending bill!!
Unbelievable!!! The rest.

Reality:
WTF???!?
WTFingF?!?!

P Day

Reality:
Kick.
Ass.

So, then....

This global warming - good, then?


Reality:
Too funny.
I get a kick out of how scietists are all self-important. Proving sh..tuff one day only to disprove it later - or even this little tidbit. Science of the body is one thing. Science of the universe is still waaaaaaaaaay too far past concensus IMHO.
Unless you know better.

Indulge me...

I just finished watching "The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)", and I can't help myself.
This song is amazing. I think someone out there in the blogosphere recently posted this song.
Still, its not about the video.
Just listen.



Reality:
Its the only song I know that gives me goose bumps every time I hear it.
EVERY time.

Introducing...

still Unreal Simpson:

and, of course...

H/T The Early Spin

Reality:
Maybe it's not that close, but....I can't wait for this movie!
Anyone? Is it close?
(its the biggest, most roman looking nose I could find, OK?)

Oh, no he did-uhnt..

oh yes.... 2 of 3 bands soon to be off the "before I (or they) die" list...



Reality:
July 6, 2007 - 7 pm.
Its not quite 7-7-07, but I'll take it...
FINE....life just got a tad bit better. But just a tad.

Time to reevaluate...?

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with MS. At the time, not knowing what the heck it was, the only question I had for the doctor was “Is it contagious?” He assured me that it wasn’t. I shrugged it off and off I went. Ignorance was bliss.
Fast forward 8 years, fall victim to knowledge and über-expensive meds just to do….well, pretty much nothing and your perspective changes.
A few months back, after I had decided to succumb completely to lethargy and apathy brought on by the MS, it seemed like a good idea to move to Iceland …….or Ulaanbaatar and live in a cave. Even went so far as to price out the one-way tickets. After all, it was really all I could do, right?

After complete self-absorption, self-deprecation and self-pity I met someone who, for a while, got me out of that funk.
And what happens when the world you think you know comes crashing down on you for the umpteenth f*@#ing time?

Well, if you guessed that Iceland is just too damn cold and Ulaanbaatar is just a bit too far off the beaten path, you’d be partly right. You then wait a few months to tie up loose ends, then implement the plan, in general – I feel older and wiser, and the destinations have changed.
These are numbers for travel next March. It may seem a long way away, but you all (like 5 of you) know that as you age, time reeeeeeeeeeeeally flies.
All are one-way tickets...
Back to my home town: ~$1,800
Sicily , Godfather-style: ~$1,800
Just outside Florence with the crazy aunt: ~$1,300
Milan , with my cousin – (incredibly cool) son of said crazy aunt: ~$600 (….thru Ireland, 12 hr layover !!!, sweet!)
Lampedusa (I love this isle): I figure I can “boat” there if I go to my hometown…

Reality:
Yeah, I realize I finally became a (proud) citizen of the USA only to go back “home”, but its as far away as I can get.
I think we have a winner! (yes, I know they are pretty much the same....once I get there it'll be as easy as going from North Dakota to Miami, anyway..)
Besides, I think I can pick up on the language as well as satisfy my inner history geek at the same time.... Thoughts? Other destinations? Anyone? Bueller?

So, tell me again....

Why we shouldn't go after the employers because they don't know?

Reality:
So let me get this straight....your law office holds a seminar specifically on how to recruit illegal aliens, you "clearly" state your goal and yet -
When you are confronted by a news organization, you say that you made some "bad choices" in your words???
IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!

Bizzaro Pulp

Reality:
I friggin' love the Muppets....

Who am I?

Reality:
No hints...yet.

Slippery Slope

For all of you that believe that there is no slippery slope of the decreasing standards in our society, I humbly present you with this story:

I recently changed my home page from MSNBC to FoxNews. Every time I open Explorer, one of those annoying pop-ups appear and I quickly close it. This particular pop-up stopped me in my tracks before I could close it.
On the heels of Racine's "pimp my library card" there is this pop-up below:



Reality:
Are you kidding me?? This after last night I hear Fox refused to air a condom manufacturer commercial (which I liked, thought it was pretty funny and had no problems with).

Holy Crap!!!

I'm linking to a Canadian paper about global warming reality, eh!
Run for the hills, the end is nigh, yah!

Reality:
So basically, this science will be refuted as either "biased" or "looney", but I don't really think the sunspots and reality give a rat's pattotie.