Late to the party.

I’m pretty sure I’m the first, last or only person to have this moment of clarity, but it happened. (Late to make my point, too, I think - so please bare with me…)

Anyone that knows me at all knows that I watch any TLC, NatGeo or Disc. Channel shows that deal with astrophysics, astronomy or even parallel universes.
Don’t get me wrong, some of those topics and the math behind the theories can make me a little light-headed, but I’m a complete geek and I love ‘em. I guess that’s probably the result of loving the science, but not being able to do the actual math (string theory…wtf?!?).

Last nite, I was watching one of said shows that I had DVR’d (oh, yeah..the Mrs. loves that…) about the largest explosions in the known universe. They worked their way up in scale, and then declared that The Big Bang – the explosion that created the universe – was the unquestionable winner. After all, it contained everything, and it created everything…including time; since there was only void prior. They went on to say that until the mid-90’s, scientists postulated that the expansion of the universe would stop and then it would all end in The Big Crunch – when the universe contracted back on itself and the cycle is repeated.
In the 90’s they discovered that the universe was not only NOT contracting, but it was expanding at a record pace (record?!? compared to what??!?!).
So some of these giants of science decide to re-explain it away by coming up with a new theory to explain the expansion: dark energy. I won’t bore those of you still here, but it basically said: “forget what we though about the affects of gravity, just believe us that this is the reason.”

Funny theory, the big bang…one astronomer said that it was a meaningless question to ask what was there before or around the big bang “epicenter” prior to the explosion.

Is that because they can’t explain it?
That’s when I realized that the scientist and astronomers, et al are simply too afraid to confront the truth: that there was already a book that explained the “big bang” long before any of them was even born.
The name escapes me right now, but I’m sure someone will know it when I tell you about the line I do remember:

“[ Let there be light. ]”

Reality:
Isn't it funny how "regular" people are willing to embrace a duality rather than just knock down those eggheads that would not be willing to reciprocate?

I USED to rule the world...

...but I'm actually a stupid hypocrite.


Reality:
The Germans (my overlords) call this "schadenfreude."
I kinda wanted an SUV to drive over his foot as soon as he decided to plug Barack Obama after one of their songs on SNL.
Go eat some chips, you non-able-to-vote-in-my-elections dink.

Relax....

Just so we don't all get too obsessed with the vastness of the "spendulous" package, I present some perspective.




Reality:
None of those stars are the biggest known to man.
THIS is.

Dude! Are you serious?!?

Your International Spy Name is Wolf Goodnight

Your Code Name: Punchline You Reside in: Geneva Why You're a Good Spy: You're a good lover

What's Your International Spy Name?

This is totally me!


Reality:
Well, the reality is that this is just another stupid internet timewaster.

.....but its really freakin' cool!

Ughh....

I'm getting old.
Today is the 25th anniversary of the most influential commercial ever.
IMHO. After all, it aired once and it was tour de force.




Reality:
And so began the age of granola and elitism.
Just because you have an Apple computer, does not mean that you have a better product. It's difficult for all you Applejacks to grasp, I know.
But it's true.

Sorry, ladies...

Sometimes its just good to be a guy.

Reality:

Clearly, just guys would be bad.

Its just such a simpler life.

Bad news, geeks:

HA!
Your XBOX360 and Wii are outdated...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Reality:
Damn.
So is my PS3...and the other two I wanted to buy.

Admit it,

You have a dirty mind:




Reality:
Of course I DVR this.
Better to wake up to this humor than anything on the local stations.

G'head: Make up a better story.

This has to be the dumbest thing...ever.
In the history of ever.
But the staggeringly stupid part comes with this line:

[ "We need a bailout for kids at risk" ]

Huh??!?!?

What's the bailout going to be?
Common f**^ing sense??"
"Don't pull the f*&^ing trigger as a solution to your problem??"
"Don't be in a gang??"
WTFF!!??

Reality:
Truly, I missed out on several opportunities in real life.
I could have gotten government/private grants for studies that everyone can guess the answer to (I'd consult Captn. Obvious, of course.)
We as Americans only need a bailout from stupid people.

Clark Griswold is better than you.

You just know this is what he really wanted:




Reality:
Merry Christmas, everybody.

Lasers??!!?

Ever wonder what a movie about Star Trek v. Star Wars could look like?
...whatever....don't lie.
Here is part 1:





Reality:
The internet: the vestige of the lonely, techies and idle hands.
God bless them.

The arrogance of the left.

Welcome.
Like I said, its George Carlin, so the video is posted here, not at RDW.




Reality:
"Ask those people in Pompeii" - classic Carlin.
Lefties are funny...and not too bright.

ADP

Today is my favorite footballer's birthday -- Alessandro Del Piero.

In an era where footballers -- that's soccer to most of you -- transfer teams for millions of Euros each year, and on this side of the pond go into and come out of retirement and switch teams to ease their fragile egos, he has played for my favorite team -- the Bianconeri -- since 1993 and over ~565 games and counting (official site).
Oh, and he's a free kick legend.

Some of his highlites below...

(warning: Techno music)

Some idiots out there thought ADP was too old to play at Euro2008, so the Azzuri got killed.
This is from a game against Rome on Nov. 1, 2008 - 8 days ago.
(warning: Polish. Hey, its all I could find, can't transfer from DVR just yet)

Too old my ass.
Bend *this* Beckam.


Reality:
Just in case any of you anti-soccer types out there think this is just highlite stuff, think again.
Over the years (as evidenced by the hairstyle changes) I've watched this guy do this stuff and more every game.
A total playmaker, game changer and a genuine nice guy.
Deal with it.

I REALIZE THAT THIS IS THE LIBERAL WET-DREAM, BUT.......

One thing I'd like to point out that I have yet to see a Conservative pundit point out is......If the Bluer than blue, sadder than sad, Dem/Libs take-over of POTUS, Congress and Non-filibuster Senate occurs, and if the "fairness doctrine" is made law OR made policy by the FCC.
WHAT VOICE OR POWER WILL CONSERVATIVES/REPUBLICANS HAVE??
None. The "MSM" media is completely in the tank as well.
There will be complete silence. The democrat party will do what it pleases, and it will be reported through the completely co-opted filter of the leftist mainstream media. The tiny tiny slice of media, namely "talk-radio", will be government regulated for a nonsensical "fairness".How will ANY dissenting voice be heard??
Wise up America

BARRY CAN YOU HEAR ME???

We've all seen political hacks in our days, but the tone deaf nature of Barry Obama vis a vis John McCains delaying the scheduled debate is bizarre. Obama and Joe Biden are probably 2 of the biggest posers in political history. Biden thinks FDR was President in 1929, and Obama thinks HE is President in 2008.
The gaffe machines rolls on. Keep up the good work democrats.

Ah...the wonders of socialism

Now, I ask you, how could this be possible without government intervention or help??




Reality:
I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Be afraid.

The new change.

Just like Mondale -- and you know how well that went for his campaign.
Or any good wealth distribution socialist.
What a toool. He finally speaks the thoughts of the dems out loud.
Patriotic to pay more, not to do more.
Kennedy would be proud (the one that didn't kill Mary Jo).


Reality:
Think obamination bangs his head on the wall every time he regrets picking mr. soundbite?
Or do you think the wall is already destroyed?
What do you think hillary is thinking?
These debates are gonna rock.

HARRY REID. REAL AMERICAN HERO.

"The war is lost."
"General Betray us."
and this dooooooozy.
"Oil is killing us. Coal is killing us. It's called GLOBAL WARMING and it's killing our country and killing our world."
Harry Reid's sons are like Joe Bidens' son. Lobbyists.
Harry is a Lib/Dem Senator from Nevada.

How does Harry "dimbulb" Reid, think that those who make Nevada successful, specifically Las Vegas............GET TO...... Las Vegas????

Solar jet power??

Libs are bereft of any moral compass or honesty.